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Original poster

melt down after school (4yo)

15 replies

PavlovtheCat · 15/09/2010 15:50

DD is in her second full week at school, she is enjoying it, but is having severe tantrums afterwards, she is tired and hungry.

She is having an absolute meltdown right now. She wanted to go to the park for a picnic and I said yes but she wanted other people to come and they can't. She wants to go, but not with just me her and DS, she won't wait til tomorrow to go with some friends (as suggested) and won't not go either. She climbed into a cardboard box (DSs toy) and would not get out, she then got out and threw a toy at DS, then across the room and when I said to go on the step she hit me, not hard, but a tap on the leg, and went into absolute meltdown.

She is now on the step after 5 mins of telling to get on it, and she is screaming the absolute place down, she has refused food of any kind as she only wants a picnic outside with friends.

HELP??!!

OP posts:
boogeek · 15/09/2010 15:54

Sounds normal for first half-term of reception tbh. Just tired and overwhelmed from a lot to learn. Ride it out, maybe take a snack to have the instant she is out of the door (which doesn't help just now I realise), don't try to do anything much after school beyond monging on the sofa, and rest assured after half term things will settle :)

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2010 15:56

i would leave a snack and a drink (with a lid) on the step near her.
ds1 getgs liek this and it's often related to low blood sugar! having something to eat helps.

then i would say to her that you're just going to let her have a calm down, and that she can come and find you when she is ready to talk

NoahAndTheWhale · 15/09/2010 15:57

Does sadly sound normal. I agree that food at the school gate helps but doesn't always prevent.

A big cuddle also can help once the fury is over.

How are you? I saw you had a bad time with bathroom equipment attacking you :(

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/09/2010 15:58

when is half term? Grin

so, probably no picnic right now? I normally take a banana for her, or similar but did not today. silly me.

OP posts:
NoahAndTheWhale · 15/09/2010 15:58

Agree with thisisyesterday to leave food and retreat may be the best approach.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 15/09/2010 16:08

ok, she is calmer. I told her to go to play in her room and come out when she is calmer and there will be food waiting for her.

I have knocked up some carrot sticks, raisins, mini baby chedder bel, breadsticks & dip. She was in the front room when I came out, and is eating, and just said calmly 'can we have a picnic outside tomorrow' and is eating.

never seen such a meltdown thanks ladies!

OP posts:
NellyTheElephant · 15/09/2010 20:44

When DD1 started reception last year she was just the same. I found it really hard to deal with at first but I got better at it and so did she. For me what worked best was (1) a jaffa cake and glass of ribena immediately (I know - it seems like a sugar overload, but it worked absolute wonders, I think she really needed the energy boost that it gave her to get through to supper time), and (2) entirely ignoring any tantrum for about 5 minutes or so to let her tire herself a bit, then taking her on my lap and holding her (no speaking or reasoning etc, just hugging her) until screaming / sobbing subsided and she was rational again. If still no joy I would carry her to her room and put her on her bed with her comfort blanket and her teddy and usually she'd be fine within 5 or 10 mins. She was much better after half term, but even now in Yr 1 I treat her with kid gloves after school and continue with the immediate jaffa cake!

DoNotTumbleDry · 15/09/2010 21:06

My DD exactly the same Pavlov. Was about to post my worries when I read yours. My sweet little girl turns into a VERY angry and frustrated nightmare when she comes home from school. Will try to feed the monster in order to tame it tomorrow.

stigofthedump · 15/09/2010 21:07

Ooo, Pavlov, sounding so familiar. Ds is wasted and needs an apple and a quiet flop in front of a DVD when we get home.

We are also having morning meltdowns as I'm insisting on walking the 300metres to school and ds starts to tell me how very tired he is as we walk past our car and that he needs to drive to school. This has resulted in a screaming meltdown and me firmly not backing down as what seems like all the many other parents and children walk past. And I had such a rosy image of us skipping to school together.

Do you think 8.30am is too early for a jaffa cake?

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 15/09/2010 21:12

I feel your pain! We're having the same problems here too with ds1 who has just started reception. Sancks and cuddles seem to work best!

Just school days are bad enough, but on the 3 days I work, he goes to his childminder from 7.30am, then school 9am - 3.15pm and stays with his childminder until just after 5pm.

His childminder is great, gives him a drink and snack and lets him relax on the sofa for a bit of TV, or play if he fancies it but by the time I collect him he's really tired.

I know it's a long day for him, but there's no way of changing things. I just hope his body gets used to the longer days before to long.

pippylongstockings · 15/09/2010 21:15

It's because they HAVE to be good all day at school - so they HAVE to let it out at home. Well, that's my theory.

I have also gone for the food straight after school route - and resigned myself to the fact they are happy flopping in front of the TV for an hour, then story, then tea, then wrestling to make sure they really are physically tired. Works for us!

Stricnine · 16/09/2010 16:12

I hate to depress you guys but it continues into teenager-hood - my DD still needs to come home to a quick snack and drink before she's anywhere near worth talking to! Luckily I'm now now work, and she gets home first so gets it out of her system before I arrive ... feel her poor dad sometimes though who works from home :)

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 16/09/2010 19:13

stricnine Shock oh don't say that!

I hope things are better today for everyone. We took a banana sarnie (DHs insistence!) and she ate it in the car, had a good tea and pudding, and only had a handful of minor tantrums, nothing serious like yesterday and much easier to handle. She was in bed, asleep by 7:00pm last night, half hour earlier than normal and woke at 6:30am, which is normal, so 11.5 hours compared to the sometimes only 10.5 hours she used to get (has a lot of energy, needs less sleep than i would like Wink.

We also have the odd meltdown in the morning, mostly because she wakes up starving!

I don't let her watch tv every night she comes in either [bad mummy], she watches it in the mornings sometimes while i get ready for work, and DH gets DS ready/finishes breakfast, as long as she is dressed for school, but in the evenings she misses her bears anyway and goes to replay the day with them, so thats good i think.

I am glad I am not the only parent going through this, and hope it gets easier for everyone else too.

OP posts:
Stricnine · 17/09/2010 14:57

I have to say - same DD as above completely wrong footed me yesterday (after I typed the above!) by aksing for the Iron & Ironing Board so that she could do her school shirts ... you could have knocked me down with a a feather!!

So it does get better :)

We'll see what tonight has in store for me -- tea ready cooked ???

FaeWinter · 17/09/2010 18:45

my children are fed, watered, and ready for bed! the end of a long tiring week for DD. just about to go read bedtime stories, nice and calm, helped by tea at 4:30pm!!!

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