Comfort sucking to sleep.... (please help)

[NewMum0310]

My daughter will be 6 months old next week and she still won't sleep without comfort sucking during the day and night. I start her bedtime routine with a bath at about 7pm with a feed and she'll be asleep by 8.30pm. I am then forced to comfort her when she wakes up with my breast every hour until midnight and again a few times through the night and the morning. She does have some proper feeds in between too.

I've read some books where people mention 'controlled crying' or 'pick up / put down routines' and I've sort of tried both for about 5 minutes but I can't bear her crying so much and I give in. The problem is that I'm becoming so tired with the night wake-ups that I physically feel that I can't do it sometimes. She won't take a bottle but I'm hoping that when she starts eating next week and being weaned off the breast will help but I don't think that'll affect her inability to self-sooth back to sleep.

I know that it's my fault for allowing it to happen but I didn't realise it at the time especially because she was so colicky for the first 3 months and I hadn't really read the 'good routine' books before to know that I shouldn't allow her to sleep that way.

Newmum,

Why exactly shouldn't you allow her to sleep that way?

Nature set things up this way so that she would grow. All children are different, some will self settle from day one some don't until much, much later! Please stop "blaming" yourself for something which is normal and natural. Yes there are books which are helpful to "some" people which advocate routines and methods of doing things. You have worked out your own which suit you and your daughter. Thats great, well done. :)

Just so you know tho even the most ardent of controlled crying advocates don't use it under the age of 1. They are far too young below this age.

I realise that it has now got to a point where it has become too much, but there are still things you can try, you have done really well for b/feeding to 6 months. others will be along too :)

Have you tried taking her off and winding her throughout the last feed? She may be taking air which once she burps out she isn't full any more.

Or you could try the disapearing chair routine, this has worked with all 4 of mine.

Are you planning on removing all b/feeding when you wean? How fast a wean are you planning? I'm a little confused.

Hi,

NOt sure if I have any useful advice but I am in a similar situation that I have always let DD feed to sleep at night but she doesn't normally wake up every hour. This must be terrible for you and completely take over your life so I have sympathy for you(have you tried comforting her in other ways...simply hugging and rocking(I often use white noise like an out of tune radio....call me crazy but it does work and after putting a thread out on Mn seems I am not the only one).

DD also refuses a bottle. She is 6 months old also and she is already eating three meals a day and having five bfs. She still wont take a bottle. Am trying with a top mug though and she sometimes takes a few sips from that but it flows out quite fast...You could try that though. I really hope your nights get better. I have just started the cc thing today as my DD can't self soothe. I guess it is better to go to a room where you can't here them cry.MIght be easier to get through it then......best of luck, let us know how it goes

Why don't you save yourselves the pain of cc and try this?

Under a year babies don't understand enough for cc to be anything but distressing. I'm sorry, but yes eventually they will fall asleep through sheer exhaustion. AFAIK its not reccomended any more for under 1's.

Good luck

I was in the same situation, and at 8 months old my dd was waking every hour of every night, demanding the breast. I felt like I was losing the plot: you have my deepest sympathy!

Ok, this is what I did. I started a proper bedtime routine (bath, book, bed) and established that for a few days. Then I bf but took my dd off the breast and put her into bed just before she fell asleep. When she cried I stroked her head, but I didn't take her out of the cot or put her back on the breast. She DID cry, because she was tired and didn't know how to get to sleep. But I didn't count this as controlled crying because I felt confident that she couldn't be feeling traumatised or abandoned: how traumatised can you feel when your mum is beside you, offering you comfort?

First night she cried for 40 minutes, but in a quite half-hearted way. Second night, 15 minutes. Third and fourth nights, 5 minutes. After that, she slept through. I really do think you can do sleep training without controlled crying, so long as you are aware of and respond to the point where a grumpy baby becomes a truly distressed baby.

I completely agree - we did the same with my DD from quite a young age (around 2 months) - I would make sure she was fed, clean, tired etc and then put her down. She would cry but I would stroke her and shush her and it really does work. I never left her alone and I never let her get distressed. I knew she was tired and that all she needed was sleep - but babies do often need to learn how to put themselves to sleep. After a few days she was sleeping 12 hours a night - she's 5 months now and she still sleeps wonderfully and is very happy to be put in her cot, wide awake.

Thankyou both, I'm tired and not very eloquent tonight.