Help - 8 yr DS has shredded a letter sent home by the school before I got home to see it

[Vondo]

Just had a call from my mum to say that DS has ripped up a letter sent home by the school before anyone could read it. When i asked him why he's done this his reply was so he didn't get into trouble - he did however leave the envelope and shredded paper in his school bag

When i asked him what the letter was about he said that he had been taken out of class for calling another little boy names but couldn't remember what else he said.

This is just on in a long line of incidents that DS seems to be getting into at the moment (the first at school granted). He seems to be so cheeky just now and so stroppy.

I need help - where do I go from here - what can I do to put an end to this horrible attitude?

I personally would go quite hard line on this because he sounds like he's getting a little out of line and needs to learn the consequences of his actions. I would set a punishment and make sure I followed through on it so that he can see your no push over. Bit having said that I am a tough love kinda mum.

That is very naughty indeed. I would ring the school asap and ask what was in the letter. That sort of behaviour really shows a lack of respect for you. Come down tough.

Have phoned the school already and they are going to send a copy of the letter home again tomorrow. I've asked them to give the letter directly to my mum when she picks him up.

Key to this is sticking to the punishment I think. I have been bad in the past for giving in when I've been having rough time with his teething little brother (no excuse I know).

I need to be calm with him so that I can get the message through instead of losing the plot and him not understanding how serious this is.

Key to this may also be in understanding why he is going this - is the shredding part of attention seeking? or is he genuinely scared of what you will say if you read it?

I think it might be a bit of both.

Like me he absolutely hates the idea of confrontation so he will try to avoid it at all costs - hence why I think he tried to hide the letter.

I need to explain to him tonight that I will deal with the fact that he shredded the letter up tonight and when I get the letter tomorrow and find out what it actually says then we will review his punishment again in line with what it says.

I did a similar thing as a kid (forged my dad's signature on a bad exam result because i didn't want him to see it). He found out months later at a parent & teacher night. He came down like a ton of bricks specifically on the forgery - one of the few times i saw him really furious - and i think it was the right response. but then again, like sweetheart i think i fall on the tough love side