My friend apprears to have given birth to the child from hell, she is at her wit's end with him and has asked me for advice but despite having had 4 myself I don't know what to suggest.
He is defiant he says no and he means no and he goads his parents with this constantly. He kicks, he bites, he screams, he is rude and he just refuses to accept any house rules his parents lay down.
When I suggested the naughty step, cushion, rug etc... or perhaps a reward chart she said "We tried the naughty step but he just laughs at us and abuses us from it - he thinks it's fun. The longer we leave him there the more abuse we get" "When we tried reward charts he pulled them off the wall and tore them up. I got some more and he threw food and squirted ketchup at them up the wall until they were useless"
My friend has been telling me similar stories for months and I did think she was exaggerating until we went to visit them this weekend and saw it with our own eyes.
However as soon as we left the house to go to the park he was as good as gold, he played nicely, had fun and was nice to his two sisters and my four children.
He had no problems leaving the park and walked nicely home.
However as soon as we were indoors again and preparing tea all hell let loose, he bit, kicked or scratched every other child. He ran into the garden and hurled the guinea pig cage over, luckily the animals were unhurt, he drew on the tv screen with marker pen and he pummelled his mother's legs with his fists. When she asked him to stop and held his hands to stop him, he started kicking her.
She sent him to the naughty step and he went without argument and then as she had said he started to verbally assault all of us present. Obviously he's 4 so nothing too alarming but we were stupid or useless or rubbish, that sort of thing. All done in a high pitched and screechy voice. His parents asked him to be quiet and he turned the volume up.
I was at my wits end after three hours, how they live with it day to day I don't know, but I don't know how to advise her with this. My four kids have all had their moments but this was horrific, and she's no amateur either she has three children.
She said she is wondering if he has ADHD or something similar but his behavious as soon as we walked out the house was dramatically different, like turning a light switch on and off.
He is also not behaving badly at pre-school where they say he is very well mannered and good. To me he is in control of how he behaves like this, it's not a condition he can't help.
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can help my friend, I have never seen anything like this behaviour before and I truly don't know how to advise her to stop it and how she gets back in control.