This is normal toddler behaviour, right?

[JumpJockey]

DD is 20 months, first child so I have no idea what I'm doing really so please be gentle!

Typical encounter; end of lunch. She's eaten quite a lot but is starting to chuck the rest around. I say "Are you finished?", she says yes so I take the plate. She points at the plate and wails. "Do you want some more?" "yes" Put the plate back, she shoves it away and turns away as if it's the worst thing she's ever seen. I take plate, she cries, wants it back, shoves it away. Repeat until I lose the will to live (usually about 3 times).

It's the same with a lot of toys, playdo etc. Do they just not really know what they want a lot of the time? She's not got many words so can't express herself very well, hence a lot of wailing which is part of what really drives me up the wall.

Sounds normal to me. Frustrating isn't it? :)

SOunds like my 21 month old. Makes me want to bash my head against a brick wall!

Completely normal. It's just incredibly irritating. I have a feeling all your responses will be very similar. :)

Am slightly relieved - as she says "Juice!!!" then flings the proffered cup across the room... Time for me to take a course in counting to 10 :)

sounds normal! ornery little buggers, aren't they? I think sometimes that even if they have quite a lot of words (as DD does at nearly 20mo) they don't have the capacity to shade meaning - so 'juice' might mean:

oh look, juice
no, I don't like that juice
yes, I'd like some juice
oh, that's not the same juice as before
you've got juice but I don't want any
oh god, why does she keep giving me effing juice

etc
etc
etc
until you fall off your chair. Often when they say something it's easy to think that they want it, when actually they are just pointing it out to you

dmc, you have a very good point! She often shouts Nana! or Apple! but it turns out she doesn't eat said item when it's offered, she's just practising her vocab :)

All the same here, Especially the Nana, then once presented with one, doesn't touch it. DD is my first, so i too am in your boat Jump Jockey!

jump was very for a moment there, as I couldn't understand why your DD would want to eat her granny! (my DD's grandmother is called 'nana' or 'nanny'. A banana, on the other hand, is a 'narny'. Do keep up )

yep, I recognise that experience too.

Sometimes I think DS is just practising saying things and sometimes he just doesn't know what he wants. For example, yesterday he kept insisting "that way... that way" while pointing in seemingly random directions. Every direction we went in was completely wrong and he threw a dreadful, heartbreakingly sincere and horribly embarrasing tantrum which reduced me to a gibbering heap of nerves.

You have my sympathy!

totally normal and completely head smashingly infuriating too!

Oh yes, very normal. I have a nearly four year old and a two year old and they have both been through this. But luckily they have found new ways of driving me demented these days

yes definitely normal going by my two year old. Most mealtimes remind me of the Little Britain sketch with Lou and Andy (man in wheelchair with his carer)

Me: Would you like milk or juice to drink DD?
DD: MIlk please.
Me: So milk to drink then?
DD: Yes milk please.
(Pour milk and give to DD)
DD: I don't like milk, want juice..wahh..
(Cue big sigh from me and a feeling of giving up and its only breakfast time)

They're only little yet, I notice a big difference in understanding among friends' 3 year olds.

For us, 20 months was a difficult age. Things got a lot better when DD was able to communicate verbally properly.

Also, it's not necessarily about the plate/ juice/ play doh/ whatever. It's testing to see whether they can make mummy do things ie. it's about control. She is learning to master her environment. So relax in the knowledge it is a developmental stage! (Hurrah!)