mastrubation:0

[howtotalk]

i caught my dd tonight while in a bathtub having "fun" with her private thing. she said to me that she was playing with it and the reason for that - it felt nice. i understnad this is normal and common thing, but still, how to talk to her so she stops doing it??? i did kinda caught her before in shower/bath..
so any advice will be helpful, dont know how to make thigns right. she is 5 and a half years old.

thanks

Why would you want to make her stop entirely? In our house we just make it clear that there are certain things one does in private and that is one of them.

well, i kinda freaked out at the beginning. i didnt show it, bu told her, that big girls dont play with "it". by tha way, how do u call " it " in english?? not my language so i dont know the nice word and hated calling it "it"

so back to th subject- i think i didnt behave correctly and now dont know how to put things right. also I am afraid what if this will get like a habit or something, that she will never stop?? just fears and worries...

that is perfectly normal behaviour. Why should she stop doing it. My DD is 5.5 and we just had a quick chat that it was a private thing and her bedroom was the best place rather than on the sofa in the lounge.

well, madrose, she doesnt do it on the sofa, only in bath as far as i am concern. never saw her doing it in public....

she doesn't need to stop doing it. it's normal and natural and it's fine

you may want to talk to her abot it being private and that she shouldn't show it to other people or let them touch it

what do you call it in your language? you could just use that name if you wanted?

it really is ok if she carries on doing it

Ah meant mine use to do it on the sofa

no, I wanted the name to use it here... we speak our language, and no problems there.

so next time she does it I just dont pay attention to it??? kind of " keep it cool" thing????obviously will have to start knocking on the door when she is having a bath.

gonna be contraversial here & suggest she doesn't need to do it.

My DD1 has/had a habit of squeezing her legs & I tell her off. I don't want her masturbating at age 3.

FWIW my friends dd got a addicted to 'doing it'. Rubbing herself at every opportunity on corners of furniture.

We call it peepee if that helps

For some reason, we called it wriggle bum. I think it was because her bum would be wriggling. Keep it cool, but do remind her it's private, and if I see her doing it (very rare now) I just say something along the lines 'not now darling, and remind her it's a private moment.

I don't go into any details and am quite relax about it.
Like thisisyesterday, i also had a chat about not showing other people and not letting anyone else touch it - calmly.
She seems to understand and is now (mostly) is very discrete.

agree with lovingthesun

ahhh ok, well it's a bit of a minefield with names i think! regular threads on here about what to call it

some people say you should go with the correct anatomical name. so vulva

others prefer to use some sort of euphemism, of which there are many!common ones being things like mini, front bottom, flower, tuppence

Please do not tell her not to do it- you will just give her a complex about something that's totally natural. If she starts doing it in public, obviously tell her that it's something she needs to do in private only.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation.

if you tell your children not to do it they will

1. still do it but in private

2. think there is something wrong with it and grow up with some complex about enjoying themselves

what age does it become acceptable? when they get to 18 will you turn round and say "oh, you know i told you not to masturbate because it's bad, well i've decided you can now"???

Well said thisisyesterday.

I'm 40 and I still do it

Not in public though, obviously

Don't tell her not to do it, just ask her to do it in private.

it won't become a preoccupation unless a big deal is made of it and it's made to seem unnatural or wrong.

When my DD started fiddling around age 3 I said that it was fine but please do it in your room and wash your hands afterwards. I didn't want her to have an issue or feel self conscious of her body I think it is all perfectly natural and normal.

Tell her it's like picking your nose .... you don't do it in public, only private. It's very normal and very healthy btw.