Anyone else's toddler live on fresh air?

[mooncupflowethover]

Well maybe not fresh air, but it feels like it.

DS2 is 16 months. He flat out refuses any meal I prepare for him. He will eat anything sugary, crisps, certain fruit, weetabix and toast.

Today he has refused (not even a mouthful) fish pie for dinner and sandwiches for tea.

He's eaten weetabix for breakfast, a yoghurt (after his refused dinner) for lunch, a few half grapes and chopped up plum, a handful of Skips (prawn crisps) and toast at bedtime. He has had 4 oz milk for supper too.

I have tried EVERYTHING to get him to eat a meal. He won't let me feed him, not interested in feeding himself (unless it's finger food and on the 'acceptable list'). I've tried feeding him in his highchair, on a booster seat at the table, on the coffee table, floor, on my knee and on DH's knee.

I've tried making the meals more like finger foods, difficult with fish pie etc...

I watched an episode of Supernanny once, and this woman's 8(ish) year old wouldn't eat, and she ended up screaming at him and practically ramming the food down his throat.
Now I haven't done this but bloody hell, I've seriously felt like it. Supernanny's answer was to ignore him and not make a big deal. So this is what I did, and DS2 is quite happy with being ignored and STILL won't eat.

Please tell me he's not going to live on crisps and toast forever!

Anyone else had this? Did things change? Any advice? I'd love some ideas as I'm tearing my hair out over this!!

Toddlers are like that. Yoghurt tends to be a popular thing they will eat.

As long as they still have some fluids then don't panic... just offer things they are likely to have. It usually does not last long... give it a couple of days. Keep an eye on fluid intake to avoid dehydration.

He won't live on crisps if you don't give him any! Its so hard to do but the ignoring thing is really the only way. For the time being, maybe stop knocking yourself out to make lovely meals from scratch and put him in his highchair and give him some finger food you know he'll eat and a couple of things he hasn't tried before. Give him half an hour or so, stay with him and keep it light then after however long, get him down and dinner is over. Children can survive on surprisingly little!

Nanny..thanks, he's been doing this for ages now. Pretty much since I weaned him at 6 1/2 months really..he was happy to eat pudding but refused meals.

He has a bit of a thing about lumps in meals..he'll quite often gag at something. If it was a sensory issue though, surely he wouldn't eat toast, crisps, fruit etc

I can tell you're stressed about this but think perhaps he might have picked up on this too?? I would stick him at the family table and eat together. Just try and chat as a family and let him do what he likes with his food. Don't make the food, or him the centre of attention.

When people talk about ignoring him I think the trick is to do this long term not just a few days and then panic and change tack. Try ignoring food for a month and see what happens. I go with scootergrrrl on not going crazy on the menu. Nothing wrong with scrambled egg and beans etc.

It deffinately sounds like he's eating plenty to sustain himself and children really will eat what they need if given HEALTHY options. I'd avoid the crisps altogether for now. I wouldn't offer him any "empty calories" in the form of crisps and sweets for a good while. No snacks within a few hours of meal times either. I certainly wouldn't attempt to feed him. He's able to feed himself and feeding him puts too much emphasis on the whole thing.

Good luck!!

Would dispute that it doesn't last long. Mine s 20 months and been doing it pretty much from the start of weaning and we are making not much progress. We had a referral to a specialist who can tell you worse tales of non eating but isn't concerned as he is good weight with loads of energy. The just tell you to keep trying and hat it's the calories that are important and theres no bad food at this age.

Thanks for the advice everyone, so appreciated.

Happysun...yes, I'm pretty stressed, I'll try to limit/cut out the empty calories, it's just that if he doesn't eat them then he really will have nothing...oh I don't know, it's hard.
As you and Scooter say..i'll try stopping the crisps. I think he may be getting calories from his milk, so I'm trying to cut that down. I'll continue giving him finger food.

Chynah..what does your 20month old eat? It's ok for the specialist to say that, but for parents it can be a nightmare can't it.

it is really hard to ignore and watch your child eating nothing for days on end, not sleeping, behaving badly etc etc.

I am not saying it is the wrong strategy, but just that people can underestimate how difficult it is.

I didn't have puddings simply because I didn't want to bribe and I knew it wouldn't work anyway.

I would just put some stuff on his plate each meal time that he will eat. With DS it was cheese or baked beans. Then let them get on with it.

Also let him eat things from your plate. Sometimes they prefer to have what you are eating.

Avoid the junk type foods, concentrate on him having the more healthy things - veg, fruit, some dairy product, some meat, carbs.

If lumpy food is an issue, consider going through weaning process again... start at mashing.

As he will eat toast, do things on toast - so scrambled egg, beans, cheese.

mooncup - I find it incredibly stressful (i end up in tears a lot - not in front of him).

Brekkie is normally ok

Baby cereal (yes really still baby cereal) mixed with fruit puree. toast he will have one ite of then throw and 2x munch bunch fromage frais.

It all goes downhill from there! Sandwich, chick nuggs, pizza or similar for lunch mostly thrown) - wont do veg or fruit -followed by fruit custard.

C&G Steamed meal (pasta) for dinner with large munch bunch.

He aslo has 8oz toddler milk (wont have cows) at morning and night as i'm afraid to stop it as i think he needs the nutrients.

He pretty much didn't eat at all until i eventually cut his milk to 2 feeds at 12 months on specialists advice - they reckon he wouldnt starve himself.

From birth to about 4.5 ds was under the care of a consultant paediatrician. Gave me the opportunity to ask questions unrelated to ds's medical issues during our 6-weekly appointments. At the age of your ds my ds hardly ate a thing and was incredibly skinny (still is at age 6). Consultant said at that age they could live on fresh air and I needn't worry as he would eat something when he was hungry. Absolutely right. He will never be the best eater but he is thriving. It was hard at the time though.

Won't he eat chunks of food like avocado, hard boiled egg etc? Kids usually like them.

Mooncup....
Thank god..... I thought we were the only ones with this problem!!!!
Our boy is 22 months and I could have written your post word for word!
Weetabix-check
Sweet things-check
"acceptable" fruits-check
Anything remotely healthy or resembling a meal....FORGET IT!
I am quite literally at my wits end. Our boy is full of energy, sleeps like a log and is happy as larry but I'm mystefied every day as to how he can survive on so little food.
One thing that is interesting though is the weetabix connection, I met another mum at soft play a while back whose son was also having weetabix at breakfast then not much else all day. Do you reckon there's something in it ? !! P

Hi again, I don't think in my last post that I emphasised enough that it really doesn't sound like he's eating that badly. Toast, yogurt, weetabix, milk, all really good. I'm not trying to say you are silly to worry; you love him and want the best for him.

I remember when my friend was at her wits end with her DS1. I think he was about the same age as yours. She went to her HV and ended up in tears. HV asked her exactly what he DOES eat, never mind what he won't eat. She listed a similar list to what you have, eg toast, yogurt, some fruit etc. HV advised that she just put his meals in front of him each day with something he might eat and a few other bits too and just let him get on with it.

She did this to the letter. Didn't even suggest to him that he eat it, no praise for "doing well" or negative comments for eating nothing, just talked about other stuff and ate with him. It took months for him to start trying the other stuff, but he did eventually and is now 4 and is not a fussy eater at all. I think she did a really good job on him and admire the will power it took to stick it out.

I think Nanny's posts were great on the whole, but I really would avoid going back to mashing and start weening again.Think this would be a step back and it wasn't terribly effective first time round!

DS is 2.9. His eating has gradually got better between 2 and 3, the main thing is that he will eat meat and a wider variety of veg, but still not keen on usual kids favourites such as spag bol cos of the lumps. I would say puree for things you want him to eat but keep up with the finger food. He needs to learn to chew so finger foods such as meat, fishfingers etc are good for that, but coping with a mix of smooth and lumpy is a common phobia hence all the smooth yoghurts. My DS won't eat much fruit apart from bananas and dried fruit but every so often will randomly eat an apple but then not again for months! I think when they get to 3 you can do reward charts for trying new things to ensure that a reluctant toddler doesn't become a fussy eater but ultimately some kids aren't particularly hungry and there is not much you can do. If they have energy, are not skinny and are having milk and carbs then just keep trying to make it fun - sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt. Don't get too worried about making from scratch as that makes it more stressful for you when they don't eat. Tinned spaghetti has 1 portion of veg, fishfingers are very good for them, meatballs are an alternative to spag bol etc etc. It is only in the last few months that we have been able to get DS to eat the same as us and it is suprising the stuff he likes - king prawns, curries etc! He still eats next to nothing but at least he likes what he eats!

Hi I know long shot ☺️ but did it solve itself in the end ?