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Behaviour/development

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worried what DS will be like at school - 4.3 years

3 replies

herbgarden · 10/09/2010 20:00

DS is highly sensitive and always been a bit clingy. That said he's also chatty and outgoing and likes to make friends wherever we go (although can also attach himself quickly to people and get upset when it's not reciprocated).

To date he's been to nursery since 10 months and has formed close friends there - two of his special friends were girls. He then has been at pre-school the last year for two mornings where he got on fine and always found someone to play with.

Most of my old friends (not local friends) had girls of the same age and most of the NCT friends we've seen over the years have girls....

He prefers to be outside running around, kicking a ball, playing with a bat and ball rather than pottering inside with lego and trains.

Last week we met some of the boys who will be in his class - they were pretty "spirited" kids (some already knew each other) and generally ran around pushing and shoving and bundling on top of each other. I watched DS who was looking a bit lost and he clearly had trouble understanding what to do/how to muddle along with them and at one point even though they were all clearly enjoying themselves he was telling them to stop as it "wasn't very nice". He is the sort of child who would not instigate a push or a shove but who would shout or push someone back if they did it to him. I watched one of the boys go over and rugby tackle him to the ground and he got up and literally whacked this boy as hard as he could. I was pretty shocked at his reaction. Nursery tell me that he's really well behaved and we are out and about a lot - and at pre-school I noticed that he tended to keep away from a few of the boys who tended to be a bit more "rough" with each other. I can honestly say I'd never seen him do this before (in this situation)

I just worry that he'll get himself in to trouble as he seems confused about how to react. I've said to him that even if someone does this he should walk away and not push/shove/kick/pinch back as it's not nice behaviour. Usually he'll shout at someone if he's not happy before he gets phyical. He is by no means an angel and I'm not daft but I hope you can see what I'm trying to say here. Sorry if I've not explained it well !

I presume that the teachers are wise to most behaviour and nip it in the bud and also that even some kids who err on the aggressive kids tend to behave better at school anyway....

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rabbitstew · 10/09/2010 20:23

You have nothing to worry about - your ds did not react excessively for a boy of his age who didn't understand the "game" (and why should he understand or want to be forced into it - plenty of boys don't like this sort of play). He felt threatened and attacked and protected himself, and rugby tackling and similar rough behaviour is not going to be tolerated in the playground at school amongst reception children!

mumbar · 10/09/2010 20:27

Exactly same here, friends all have girls, DS often asks when we're meeting people who have boys if they'll be rough.

He would react in the same way and I had to learn not to punish him when the child had done it in a game if that child wasn't punished iyswim.

He's 6 now and seems to have evened out so it will pass, just have to weather the storm Wink

herbgarden · 10/09/2010 20:44

Thanks for those words of advice ! - I was definitely shocked and in fact a friend sitting near me stopped in her tracks as she said she didn't think he had it in him (she's seen him interacting with other children a lot)....Friends who have older children have said that it all comes out in the wash a bit when they go into reception...

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