2 disastorous playdates. Please reassure me that my 5 year old is not going to start school and become the reception class bully!

[springchik]

:( Yesterday his little friend from preschool and his mum came round for the afternoon. THey will both be starting school together next week. They fell out and mmy ds1 hit him and pushed him over on a number of occassions. It was over new toys that ds1 got for his birthday earlier this week that he didnt want to share. :(

Today my friend and her little boy aged 6 came round after school. They argued over a toy and my ds1 actually punched him in the mouth hurting his teeth. Not surprisingly they left not long afterwards. But not before my little boy tried to break one of his new toys that my parents got him and tried to pull my friends child off the settee not understanding why he wouldnt play with him in the garden! When I tried to talk to him I literally got screamed down so I got nowhere!

I just cant believe my little boys behaviour and it has left me really anxious well even more so than before about him starting school next week! :(

He's only going afternoons for the first couple of weeks. However I'm thinking if this carrys on he'll have no friends and noone to play with and noone with want to come round on play dates. My minds running overtime at thhe moment! :(

Lots of kids behave terribly in their own homes when other children come over; they get territorial IME. And then, at school, they realise they can't behave that way and so dont. I've seen some terrible behaviour from otherwise lovely kids when we have been to play at theirs (and my DD once shocked me with her constant tantrums when her "best friend" came to play).

In future have your playdates somewhere neutral (preferably somewhere the kids can run about). They'll go a lot more smoothly, I'd bet.

What was your response to this behaviour? Is talking to him all you did?

I ask because a friend of mine does that, and it really drives me crazy and I have started avoiding playdates, too.

My DS gets marched out of the room and gets instant time out for any such aggressive behaviour, the said toy is removed from the playroom and he is barred from playing with it for a certain period of time.

Course he's only 3 1/2 so not sure how effective it will be for an older child.

Has it happened before?

my ds1 is a little ahem spirited and I've found meeting at the park for a run around and play first works wonders.
Incidentally, he started school last week and his behaviour has improved immeasurably since. We've even had a couple of playdates after school and he was lovely!
Long may it last