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Car seat naughtiness

6 replies

DewinDoeth · 10/09/2010 13:57

Hope someone can help me - this is really stressing me out!

DS1 (2yo) has got a new habit of being awkward when it comes to going into the car. He insists on climbing up to the car seat himself - any attempt to lift him in results in back arching tantrums and he flails around and slides out.
However, his claim that he is climbing up himself doesn't work well either - he climbs into the car and crouches in the footwell, stands on his car seat, gets onto the parcel shelf (if given half a chance) jumps onto the passenger seat etc etc. I.e. he mucks around and doesn't get in.
This seems to be general bad behaviour in a defiant way: he laughs when told off firmly etc.
This is a touch embarrassing because picking him up from nursery (every day this week except today) has taken 10 minutes or so.
Today, we were in a hurry to get somewhere, and he started this - I shouted at him (something I don't want to do really - so chavvy) but he did get in the seat. But I don't want to be that angry shouty woman, and anyway I doubt it will work again - it was just the shock this morning. (He also said 'sorry mum' afterwards.)

This is something he seems to do with me, not with others - when he's at my parents, they come with him to the car and he climbs in obediently. DH hasn't reported any problems (but he works away so isn't at the coalface of parenting Grin).

Any suggestions? I've tried speaking firmly but to no avail. The whole setup means it's quite hard to pick him up when his legs are under the front passenger seat/he is back against the rear window on the parcelshelf etc, and it's always in a difficult situation - car park, near a road etc.

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Amberc · 10/09/2010 15:28

Dewin - My DS does exactly the same thing - it's an age thing. He now wants to do everything for himself but then in doing so discovers there are so many more interesting things than just getting in the car seat. My nightmare is always getting him out again where he gets out and then ends up in the driver's seat honking the horn. He then has a massive tantrum when I remove him. I have no advice I'm afraid other than general bribery (do you allow chocolate? How about keeping some choccie buttons in the car for good behaviour, or if not some stickers - that's what they do on all the parenting programmes!!) but do not despair - you are not alone!!

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 10/09/2010 15:32

Wait until he has worked out how to undo the buckles of the child seat while you are hurtling down the Motorway!!

SpiderWilliam · 10/09/2010 17:26

Exactly the same with my 2yo over the last month or so. Including the cheeky behaviour "Bye bye Mummy" with a big grin Angry

Here are the options I worked through:

Brute force - not ideal as I am heavily pg and I could feel that the level of force required to overpower DS was hurting me, and probably him. He is a very strong boy.

Cold war - letting him mess around "ignored" no eye contact, me out of sight etc in the hope that he got bored and realised that he missed out out on our trip. Didn't work, turns out that the inside of a car is endlessly amusing for a 2yo.

Separation from Mummy - bingo! When he hadn't got into the seat after 3 chances I asked him "Do you want to stay at home?" Then took him back in through the front door and shut him in with me on the outside (the hall is baby proofed, and he was too busy howling at the front door where I could see him to attempt anything horrific). Timed it for 1 minute. Opened the door. "Do you want to get in the car set now?" He replied: "No", shut him in the hall for another minute. The next time I opened the door he said yes he would get in the car and I was able to lift him in myself with a bit of yelling, but not the all out battle we had been having. Obviously this worked best when at home. However I have had success with a variation in Tesco's carpark when DH was there: i.e. Mummy switches on the engine leaving DH and DS outside the car about to be abandoned.

In the last week or so we seem to have got over this phase. Not sure if he just tired of it or if the separation from Mummy tactic was key.

HTH

cats07 · 13/09/2010 20:48

I also have a 2 yo boy who does this (there is a theme starting to appear). My tack is to suddenly start talking in an astonished/surprised tone about something he might see, eg 'gosh, can you see that cat, so do you think that might be a mummy or a baby' (this looks very lame when I write it down, but bear with me).

It seems to distract him more than excited chit chat about where we're going etc., has more effect that my cross voice (he is too used to that as he has an older brother and sister), and it draws him into a conversation. And then I put him in and away we go, most of the time anyway.

DewinDoeth · 14/09/2010 15:50

Thanks! Will try different tactics - I'm off to get him from nursery ( key trouble spot Grin) in a bit, and will try Cats* suggestion!

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Wonkette · 15/09/2010 15:13

Just to say that it's not only boys--my DD2 age 2 years 9 months has just learned that she can make everyone late to school and work with this trick!
And both my daughters refused to go in the buggy after age 2. Oh our aching backs.
Who knows when they grown out of it?

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