Where am i going wrong :(

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

i have 2 children DS1 (5) DS2 (3), we had had on going behavioural problems, mainly with DS1 he has been through an awful lot in his young life and as a result is very young for his age and is behind with emotional development.
After a lot of shed tears, pulling out of hair and patience i thought i had cracked it, i took things back to basics and had to really relax all my silly rules and learn to really pick my battles.
As a result we had a really lovely 6 week summer holiday, i really enjoyed being a Mum again for the first time in maybe a year.
However as soon as School started DS1 has reverted back to the way he was, really constant silly behaviour that he will 'up his game' until i have to react he is doing this at home and school, and as always it has rubbed off on DS2 who is a lovely well behaved child until we pick DS1 up from school.
I am gutted i really thought we had turned a corner but now im finding myself in tears and my nerves are up to their limit with DS1.

That sounds awful.

DD has 'pulled elbow', which basically means a lot of trips to A and E. It's awful having to watch someone pop it back in. I'm not particuarly squeamish, but I just feel so bad for her.

I know that was probably a strange question I asked you about his expression. Only asked because I thought they sounded quite similar and wondered if you could relate. I sometimes wonder if it's some sort of personality disorder ie Schizophrenia.

She's had a good day at pre school, so i'm just hoping it's not a one off.

Today any better for you? :)

Not to bad today, about as normal as we get.

I don't get an awful lot of aggression with DS1 just mainly really silly behaviour, he will be sat staring into space and really suddenly start screaming or shouting then just as suddenly stop with no recognition from him that he has just done it!

Even just now his teacher was saying hello to him and he was just looking through her whilst making a bizarre noise and pulling this really silly face.

This is going to sound awful but the only way i can describe it is that he acts as if he has sever learning disabilities, he pulls a face a dribbles and slurs purposely a LOT of the time. He knows he is doing it.

The anger we get as an extreme reaction to something, i can say to him something as simple as 'DS please stop shouting' and he will either scream and kick and punch or just laugh hysterically... its draining.

I understand the not getting through thing. DD will often stare into space and it doesn't matter how many times i call her name she seems to be on another planet.

You say your DS looks as though he has serious learning difficulties but the fact he knows he's doing it has got to be some relief. It sounds as though something is unbalanced with him. I've often wondered if DD has got a hormone inbalance.She sometimes acts as though she has PMS. Not sure if it's the same for boys.

He obviously has social and behaviour issues, which hopefully will get better with time, but how is he as far as his school work goes. I remember you said about him never sitting still. Is that literally never, or is that mostly when he's at home?

Glad you're day has been ok. Ok is all you want most of the time isn't it.

Oh this day has already been horrid, it is DS1's 6th Birthday tommorow and tbh i really don't want to spend my money buying him things to have a Birthday Tea with the family.
My nerves are gone, i have scremed at DS2 who is fast becoming a little copy of DS1 and im in tears already.... how pathetic its only 8am.

Im going under big time at the moment, i am waking up dreading the days. I. CANT . COPE.

Gosh you poor thing. It sounds really tough, no real advice but just to say that it is early in the new term and many children's behaviour takes a step backwards as they start a new school year. It is hugely unsettling for some pupils. He has had a whole summer at home and now is getting a new set up to contend with. If he made these improvements before, he will again and probably much quicker than before. I would speak to the SENCO/inclusion manager and see what additional support you can access. They should be putting the screws on CAMHS for you.

Agree with bamboo. I'm sorry your day has got off to such a bad start. Do you have any of the day left to yourself?

You say you can't cope and I often say the same, but the point it you are. You are coping, you're just not coping aswell as you would want to. More to the point you don't want to cope with this. You want it all to go away. It makes it worse when everyone elses children seem to be doing everything they're told. Sitting nicely in restaurants etc. You have to focus more on their good points. I'm sure sometimes it feels as though they don't have any. They do. Everybody does.

I know you have lots going on with family life at the moment, but is there anyone outside the family who you could talk to? Even if it's just for a coffee(or glass of wine) where you can just let off some steam. Maybe not even talk about your situation. Just time to be you and have a giggle.

Im feeling chilled out a bit now, i think we have got into a cycle of negative stressed feelings so im going to try and stop that and try to take the riens.

This is a blip we can get back to where we were, i owe it to the family to pull it together.
Easier said than done but hopefully i can keep it up when i pick DS1 up from school at 3.15