Handling a 'Cry baby' - a top pet hate from recent threads so please help!

[herewegoloopyloo]

DD1 is 3 and a half and can be sociable, vivacious and funny - but she dissolves in to tears about the slightest thing. Not just minor injuries or bumps but trivial (or just ridiculous) things like 'my sticker is torn' or the blanket is rugged up (when she wanted it smooth) or if DH or I says hello in the morning when she wanted to say hello first.

She has always been like this and we have tried ignoring, talking to her and explaining why not appropriate response, distraction... BUt it goes on. It is worse when DP is home (he works late) and I suspect it is attention seeking but I have also seen her do it when she doesn't know I am there.

It is driving us both to distraction - and given the recent thread on behaviour that other mums hate - is probably annoying everyone else. So what do I do? Will she grow out of it? ANy tips? Could try bribery but AIBU to think that she knows it is inappropriate? PLease help!

DD has always done this. It has worn off a bit as she's grown up,(is now 12) but it drove me mad when she was younger. I could never say the slightest critical thing without her dissolving into tears.

It made me even madder because it's something I've always struggled with in my professional life, and I still have to fight to maintain my dignity and not cry when things go wrong.

I'm not sure there's much you can do, apart from ignore her when she cries so she gets no mileage out of it. It just seems to be hard-wired in some girls.

And some boys too

DS (now 6 1/2) is a cry-er. Very emotional in general (can't take him to the cinema as he finds the emotional impact utterly overwhelming), and prone to tears if things don't go his way.

We try not to respond to it, so that it doesn't 'work' as a technique (although I suspect hissing "I'm ignoring you until you can tell me what the issue is" does undermine this approach...)

Actually, I hadn't thought about it until butterbur said it, but it used to be something I struggled with (as an adult) - in my first workplace I was teased (gently) as the one most likely to burst into tears at any happy/unhappy/stressful/delete as appropriate event...

Yes, we try not to respond to it but sometimes we do have to in order to find out what is wrong (in case is cause for genuine upset - which, occasionally, it is). It really can be about such trivial things it is infuriating. Neither myself or DH are particularly 'over-emotional' people (that is probably the wrong word, as sounds critical, which is not meant to be).

Clearly showing emotions when appropriate isn't - it is just that DD's idea of what is appropriate is different to mine (Such as crying over crumpled paper or a cup the 'wrong' way round)!
I guess BB may be right and it is just hardwired in but any tips appreciated..

Actualy, one other technique that works really well is to rush over to him in panic "DS, what on earth is the matter - has your leg fallen off? Is a dragon eating your hair? Has your sister pulled off your nose?
Oh, you've only split your milk - it was just with all that noise, I assumed something awful was happening..."

I don't do that very often, but it does work occasionally to pull him up on 'appropriate wailing'

I have two who do this, although they tend to have phases of it, which are stamped out by me, then recur after a brief hiatus or normality

ds2 goes for the howling, whooping kind of racket which is immensely irritating

but ds1 (who is eight this month) does this piteous babyish weeping which drives me absolutely fucking wild, especially when the cause of it is that I have asked to to put his bowl in the sink or pick up his collection of damn train tickets

Only advice from me is to ignore it (having obviously first ascertained that there isn't a real problem, and by real I mean real to them, rather than just the put-on)

then when they are being lovely I bring it up and tickle them and reiterate in a light-hearted way that nobody is fooled and they might as well stop doing it and just talk to me instead

it does work, but only temporarily

DDW - Might try that one. I like your style.

GS - yep, it's the babyish weeping she does that gets me too. Want to just snap "FFS - STOP that!". I don't (not least cos don't like swearing inappropriately )

My 6yo dd does this. I thnk it's probably because she's the third child in a quite talkative loud family and it's a strategy to get attention.

Hugely irritating, though, my older two dds never cried that much (dd2 would tantrum a lot but that's quite different). We laugh. or ignore. or tell her to go away til she can stop crying, if we're feeling ruthless. but she is 6 not 3, I would be gentler on a 3yo, they are not always very good at saying what they need at that age, crying is their communication.