Thanks streaky, that's really informative.
Some of what you describe is exactly like my ds ( the no colouring/ dressing up paragraph applies word for word!). He has never been aggressive, although when younger used to get extremely frustrated if he couldn't always open the front door when we got home/ turn the microwave on- a hundred small things like that, which could be typical toddler behaviour or excessively routinised / obsessive ..?
His language is v good on terms of vocab, grammar etc, but he tends to express himself in convoluted ways and also often uses a 'sing-song' intonation, which I believe can be typical of AS. Adults who aren't familiar with him can find him quite difficult to understand. I think he also struggles a little with pragmatics- initiating conversations inappropriately, talking to other children about his interests (eg codes, maps) without realising they don't know what he's talking about / aren't interested. He can sometimes be echolalic.
He's a very cheerful chap and sociable on his own terms. He's v attached to and affectionate with all members of his extended family. He likes other children, but generally plays alone, concentrating for long periods on his interests.
He's confident and has a great sense of humour. He's become much easier as he's got older in terms of routines etc though he can still be inflexible on some things. That said, he's coped brilliantly with a new baby brother and house move this summer.
I don't know- think it's borderline. My instinct is that he displays AS traits but would probably not be of clinical concern, especially while he'd happy in himself and his behaviour at home/ in nursery is not raising concerns. I'm probably hyper-sensitive, as I mentioned that I'm pretty sure my brother is undiagnosed AS and has not coped well with adult life, despite being bright.
Any thoughts? Thanks again