dd might be depressed... & i think it's my fault!

[sansouci]

dd, who's 5, is not v. well. Since we came back from our holidays, she has been crying at everything & nothing, having nightmares, misbehaving, not playing well at school (often on her own), throwing tantrums...

i think it's my fault because my mother & i had a terrible argument in front of her & her brother. it was very bad & many dreadful things were said. i should never have lost control like that in front of dd. She was crying hysterically at the time. mum & i sorted it out but dd has definitely been "marked" by it -- perhaps forever. what shall i do? am frightened &, of course, guilt-ridden.

I would encourage the relationship as much as possible tbh. I'd talk about how fantastic it will be when she is much older to be allowed to go on a plane alone to visit Nanou and what a fantastic time she'll have there. You can nurture all her dreams but put them firmly away from the present, iyswim.