DS has a 'thing' with shoes being too tight/not tight enough - horrendous tantrums...

[NotSoRampantRabbit]

Shoes are a major problem at moment!

He pulls his velcro shoes so tight and screams and tantrums if he feels they are not right. Yesterday he came home from school with broken shoes after pulling them so hard that he actually ripped the leather.

He has been going to football every sunday for a few weeks, so we got him his first pair of proper trainers at the weekend. They were fine at first, but on Monday he got very stressed out because they weren't tight enough. When I tightened them they were 'too tight'. He has now decided he won't wear them at all.

The only shoes he will wear are crocs (which, bizarrly, are loose).

I am at a loss as to what to buy him for school. Anyone had a similar experience? What did you do?

oh dear, how old is he?! It sounds to me although Im no expert like a 'phase' and my advice would be try not to pay any attention to it or he will use it an excuse for attention iyswim?! Just buy him shooes that you know are his size, that he can get on and off himself - once he is at school he will have to keep them on!!! Otherwise just let him wear his crocs eventually he will get sick of them!!!

My son has similar issues about his feet. first it was socks that had to be just right now it's socks and shoes. The tantrums we've had over the years...

Now he's close to 9 and can put all types of shoes and football boots on himself so we leave him to it and he rarely tantrums with himself!

My only advice is to teach him to put his own shoes on and to tie his own laces as soon as you can. In the meantime take a deep breath and try and remain calm with him.

my grandson is constantly moaning about his shoes. even allowing him to choose his own no matter what they are like doesn't work. it just has to be ignored. he went to school in his slippers once.!!

Have you tried getting him lace up shoes and trainers instead of velcro ones ?
If he can't tie laces himself yet you can buy elasticated laces for a couple of pounds from any good cobbler that children can easily adjust to the right tension every time.
This may appease your son and save the shoe damage as well.

The pair of shoes that have been broken can more than likely also be mended by a cobbler by shortening the straps so that they will fasten tighter in future. Leather does stretch if pulled and then the fit of the shoes will not be as it should be so he will then find them too wide and roomy.

I agree with Pixie. It sounds like he has some sensory issues. Would definitely rule that out before chocking it up to a shoes-only kind of thing.

My dd (age 2.8) gets cross if her velcro shoes aren't just right too. But with crocs and flip-flops, there's no problem.

I think the answer is to reduce the possibility of him getting upset by buying shoes which cannot be adjusted. That's why there's not a scene with his crocs - because he can't adjust them.

He will grow out of it though.

Hope that helps.