9 year old DS1 - could he be reaching puberty?

[PadmeHum]

DS1 has always been a mature/tall lad.

He wears a size 6 shoe and is 5ft1inch tall. I noticed for the first time today a distinct smell of BO.

He is moody, scatterbrained, fickle and seems to be withdrawing more and more into himself. His relationship with his 6 year old brother is awful. Lots of control issues there.

To be honest, driving me mad. I have an appointment with the GP next week for a referral to a Psychologist, but it occurred to me tonight, when I noticed the BO that maybe it's not psychological, it's puberty.

Any help/experience/anecdotes would be appreciated.

He is 9+2 btw

A boy at my DC's school reached puberty at 9, so yes it's quite likely. Girls seem to be reaching it earlier and earlier too.

What were his "symptoms" Castles?

My 9 year old son isn't quite as tall and has much smaller feet but I certainly recognise the other character aspects. At the moment he's 9 going on 19 and behaving like a moody, stroppy teenager.

He's rude, cheeky, full of himself, knows it all ......... and I've also noticed that he can be a bit pongy at times.

I also have a 6 year old son - and a 4 year old daughter- and he does seem to be trying to throw his weight around with them.

I'm not sure that it's puberty as such with him - just all part of his growing up emotionally rather than physically.

His voice broke and he started getting facial hair. Could be other things too but I didn't know him well but he was always tall, mature and very sporty.

I have 2 DSs, 14 and 16, and the BO thing was the first thing I noticed, at around 9. Some body hair followed within a year or so, and their voices both broke at 12 (they were among the earliest in their classes) at about the same time as their growth spurts. Feet grow before height, and DS1 was in a 9 by the time he left primary school.

I didn't notice any particular change in behaviour until about 13, when both became more stubborn and argumentative.

How do you handle it Walesblackbird?

I just don't know with DS1. I have tried everything, but mostly we just end up having rows.

He is just so obstinate and just cannot listen to any instructions. On the other hand he isn't degenerate with it, and is always praised for being mature and his impeccable manners when he is with other adults.

He swings wildly from being a needy, lovely little boy to a pain in the backside and I just don't know how to handle it.

I find it really hard to manage. My three children are all adopted so they bring additional issues anyway and sometimes it's hard trying to work out what's 'normal' behaviour and what has an underlying cause!

For my 9 year old I try to recognise that his behaviour is down to his increasing desire to have some independence whilst at the same time recognising that he does still need me as much as my other two - even though he doesn't always recognise that for himself.

I'm now trying to give him more responsibility - helping me, keeping his room tidy (ha bloody ha) - just little things that he can do which my other two can't yet - things that show that I understand that he's growing up and needs to do different things from the younger two.

He's allowed out to play with his friends - he has a mobile so I can keep track of his whereabouts. I think basically I've had to learn to loosen the apron strings a little and to allow him the space to grow up

And we talk - lots - usually when it's just the the two of us. A bit like pulling teeth sometimes but we've had some very interesting conversations!

It's very hard though when he's still my baby.