stressed out mum

[olijackmum]

I a finally taking my son to the doctors tonight as I am so desprately needing advice .

My ds is 6 and I just cant cope with him anymore he is so so angry and will just flip at the slightest thing and scream , shout and say he hates everyone , he has problems concentrating , I cant leave him in the same room with his elder sister for too long as he will just be nasty to her. We are at the point where we cant take him to places as he is so hyperactive and wont do as he is told.
School commented on his last report about certain things that upset me.
Last nigt was just the end of it he was so angry was hitting out at me and was growling and throwing things and then he will just calm down quickly as though nothing has happened. I have probably done the most stupidest thing and done an online ADHD test where it shows he is classed as high risk on a few factors so I have decided to take him to the doctors and see what they say.

You sound really fed up. I hope the doctor is able to help you.

Is he exhibiting the same behaviour in school?

How do you sanction his behaviour at home?

at school he isnt concentrating , he is behind on his work , shouts out in class and doesnt listen

I have tried all things last night when he had one of his anger moments I just left him in his room and told him once he had calmed down I would talk to him ad I stayed in my bedroom so I could hear what he was doing. I have tried reward charts that doesnt work , tried banning treats , tried the naughty step but he wont sit still , just dont know what to do

there was problems when he was born and it took a while to resuicitate him and I keep thinking has thought caused some kind of damage that hasnt been detected

If nothing appears to be working then it is a good idea to see the doctor to put your mind at rest one way or the other.

Have you looked at diet at all?

How much exercise is he doing?

I have tried cutting things down food wise but he is just so demanding in I end up giving in , but he doesnt have that many colourings etc

He goes kick boxing as I thought it may be a good way to release whatever anger is in him and his sister does kick boxing as well , he swims and he also does drama, so he is very active

Sounds like you are doing the right things....he needs to see a link between his behaviour and the consequences it brings.

Good luck with the doctor.

thank you , just hope I get somehwere and not treated like some mad mum , saying that I feel like a crap mum at the moment

Got one exactly the same. She's only 3.9 though. I'm often told about her behaviour at pre school and we think we're probably going to need to get a SENCO involved, which I really didn't want to do.

Was yours like this when he was younger? Did he struggle socially?

he has got worse has he has got older, no he doesnt struggle socially he has lots of friends .
But i am at the point where I wont let him go to friends houses or we cant take him anywhere anymore because he is such hard work . It is even putting a strain on me and my husband as he just cant cope with him at all.

My daughter is upset all the time as he is nasty to her and he spoils things for her

We often dread taking ours to busy public places. Have to admit, sometimes I will just avoid them.

Does he ever have a day when his behaviour is ok? I the reason we haven't seeked help so far is because she can have a few week where she's an angel and is 'perfect'. Then it's like she goes back 6 months, development wise.

I'm really sorry you're all going through this. You really need to work together on it though, not apart. :) I really do understand.

The anger thing isn't all the time but I can't honestly say we have a day where he is totally good he is so hyperactive and won't sit still and very argumentative . He daren't say no to him at times as you don't know how he will react

When you take him to the docs, if they offer him medication do you think you would accept it? I've often questioned what I would do in that situation.

It would be very easy of people to say that you should never give in and if he senses there's some fear from you then he'll just get worse, but nobody really knows what it's like until it's happening to them. It would be easy for me to say that, but in reality it does sound like you need some extra help.

How have things been today? :)

Forgot to ask what happened at the docs.