Help - I don't understand my 5yo DD's behaviour!

[beagle101]

Okay - DH and I have been bewildered by DD's behaviour at school for a while now and can't decide whether this is a phase type thing or whether we need to address this so have decided to seek the wisdom of Mnetters!

DD completed year R last year and is now in Yr 1 - in a small class evenly mixed boys and girls and all really nice kids as far as I can see.

Towards the end of last year she started really hanging out with the boys and not playing or talking about the girls really at all - which is fine with me except that she is behaving really oddly with the boys - she is being super super cartoon type girlie - doing this horrid affected little laugh - its almost simpering . I saw her this morning actually hanging out in a group of boys twirling her hair at them. Now when we go to the shops she is asking in all seriousness 'do you think x would like me in this dress etc'.

At first we thought this was just a phase and that the summer would give her time playing with all her friends both in and out of school and it would lessen when she went back but since she went back last week itseems to have got more deliberate - outside school I have a normal funny intelligent 5 year old - in the school playground and when talking about school she morphs into a cartoon-style teenage girl who giggles and simpers in a teeny voice - it is freaking us out!

Sooo - has anyone else been throught his - is it just a phase some little girls go through as they start distinguishing between the sexes and we should just support her or do you think this is odd and we should perhaps start trying to address what is making her act like this (as it must be something to do with school methinks)

Any advice would be most welcome we are both utterly bewildered

It is unusual for that age IMO, did she play with her girlfriends in the hols? Does she watch a lot of T.V.?

I'm not sure where I stand on this one. You could just have an incredibly feminine little girl. Apparently I used to twirl my hair a lot and bat my eyelashes etc when I was that sort of age, even younger I think. I now have a little girl who is 3.9 and does the same. Just so you know, I turned out ok.

As far as the simpering girly cartoon style voice, I think that is just learnt behaviour from tv etc. I can imagine it being annoying and probably rather concerning but I don't think I would worry about that too much.

Does she talk about boys that she likes atall? Does she ever mention fancying them or anything like that?

Too much TV?

Can't think that it is tv - she watches a really strictly limited amount of tv (20 minutes a day) and it is ONLY cbeebies and occassionally 'Here comes Huckle' on tiny pop which is 10 minutes long and based on the Richard Scarry books

I think the reason it is freaking us out so much is that we cannot see where she is getting it from - I am not a girlie girl and we can't work out where she is exposed to it - not at school (all the other girls seem perfectly normal) and certainly not at home - she is our eldest so she doesn't even have older girls around that much.

She does play perfectly normally with her out of school friends - both boys and girls - and we have just spent a few weeks on holiday with her cousin (a boy) and she was again perfectly normal with him. It is just associated with school

Watching the older girls 'playing' Bratz or something.

Is she copying another child in school. Has she seen another (perhaps older) girl getting more attention from boys by doing the simpering act?

Hmm - was secretly hoping I was going to post and people were going to respond with something along the lines of Good God woman how precious and silly are you - girls often do this sort of thing .....

I think this is one that is going to have to be addressed - sigh- just had a look at Bratz on youtube (I have obviously been living under some rock not to have come across these before!!) and quite possibly based on her behaviour my DD knows what they are - will ask her tomorrow!

She may indeed be copying some older girl - I think I will have a word with her and also maybe with the TA in her class as DD adores her - maybe a gently word form her might have more impact than just Mum!

Thanks for your thoughs!

that should be thoughts not thoughs!