Dreading picking DD up from pre school. Please read.

[Suzithefloozy]

DD is 3.8 and took a while settling in because she started quite late and is behind in her social skills. Never the less she did settle in and all was going well. Nursery is open in the holidays here and there and that has been a nightmare to the point I just stopped taking her and thought i'd just wait til start of next term.

The routine was very different in the holidays which may explain something, but she was terrible apparently. Hitting, not doing as she was told and having mega tantrums.

I've got constant butterflies about picking her up tomorrow, incase they pull me to one side again. I always have to hold back the tears if i'm being honest.

Anyone else had this or something similar?
would really appreciate some help.:)

Were there less staff or different ones or children? Just wondering what might have changed?

I'd take her out
she doesn't have to go does she?

Well I think the whole set up was different, ie, the lady in charge wasn't there atall, her friend had moved up to primary school and there were hardly any children there. So yes a lot was different. Having said that though, non of the other children were reacting differently.

As for taking her out, like I said I stopped taking her in the holidays but I just hope i've avoided problems rather than created more. I couldn't cope with that.

Well that sounds like a lot of changes for a small child, especially if (as you say), she is behind in her social skills.

It may be that the routine had also changed somewhat if the manager had changed.

Will the original manager be back now?

I assume so, but then I asked if she would be there over the holidays and she said yes so who knows. I hope so.

It would feel easier if I knew someone in the same boat.

You say she is behind in her social skills - has she been diagnosed by a doctor or is the Health Visitor or your thoughts?

I ask this because children with Social and Communication difficulties find changes to routine / staff / peers unbearable and her behaviour would therefore be totally explicable.

I think you should ask for a meeting with the manager and the SENCO (if different to the manager) and discuss her needs and their strategies to deal with them asap, because it sounds like over the SUmmer they have not been meeting her needs

Well no, I don't think they have actually. Her key worker can be very negative. I know my little one is no angel but it's not always enough to tell you that she's been a horror all morning.

Thanks for the advice by the way. I suppose i've put off bringing anyone else into it, mainly because the manager originally had concerns which had pretty much disappeared by the end of term so I felt like things were going in the right direction. Or at least that's what I thought.

For them to call her a horror is very unprofessional of her keyworker.

It's the negativity that gets to me. To the point when the manager has actually said the next day to me, "don't worry too much what said, a lot of kids do that". I remember on her first day(not a good one)all she said was, she needs to share and learn to do as she's told. Fair enough point but not on the first day and with no reassurance that things might get better. No smile even. I felt like crying.

Could you go with her for a bit maybe? After the holidays she might need to be 'settled in' from scratch.

What is she like at home? Very different? In which case I'd try a different nursery entirely perhaps? Especially if her keyworker is not really bonding with her.

Mine's 3.8 and in a hitty stage but that is at home not at nursery fortunately. Keep your chin up though.

They sound pretty crap tbh. Is it a private nursery?

No. The thing is I really trust the manager. Family friend and all that and she did begin to settle so I don't think i'd want to take her out.

I use to work in a nursery and bad behaviour happened but unless it was really bad we didn't tell the parents everything. We'd be there all day!! They usually just grew out of it in there own time. Here though, all the other children almost seem like robots compared to mine. So it's like they've never experienced this before. Makes you feel very alone and outcasted.