DSS behaving innappropriately?? - trying to make DD see his willy

[emskilou]

This has happened a couple times now, each time I have calmly said this is innappropriate behaviour but he hasn't stopped. Any suggestions?

How old is he? I have two boys - 9 and 6 - and 4 year old daughter and I'm forever telling my 6 year old son to put it away. Bums, willies, poo and all things lavatory related are big in my house at the moment and my middly most definitely has a thing for his willy. If he's not pulling at it he's trying to show us all. It's driving me mad but I think it's probably (hopefully?) age appropriate - although admittedly he is slightly immature for his age.

Entirely depends on their ages.

How old are they?

I was about to post a thread on a similar vein as this one. My sons are 5 and 3, i am forever hearing 'Smell my Willy!' 'Kiss my Bum!' from one of them (usually DS1) and I'm not convinced that DS2 doesn't/wouldn't oblige...
I'm wondering how to deal with it, they both sit and play with their willy's and i tend to ignore or just say to them 'if you want to do that do it in your room, its not appropriate in the living room when your Grandads round sort of thing.'

I don't want them to see their bodies and exploring them as wrong but obv don't want them touching each other in an inappropriate way.

I remember having a conversation with my HV about this when my eldest son was younger and doing something similar. She pointed out to me that willie tugging is something he'll probably still be doing at 90!!

I try to make out that I'm just bored by the whole thing and try not to make a big thing of it - sort of "we've seen it all before son so please just put it away for now"

Hi thanks for your replies, DSS is 7 and DD is 5, its not so much what he is doing, its the fact that he tries to make her do it in quite a secretive way eg. today he was getting into the shower I was tidying nearby and he was saying 'DD come in here with me and look at this' she being the ever obedient little lady she was about to and as she opened the door there he was starkers holding out as it was on display, he got quite a shock when he saw me stood behind DD. I asked what he was doing he went on to say that he just wanted to ask DD if she wanted to play cars after he had finished in the shower, I asked why he needed to do this naked with his willy on show, then he lashed out got angry at me hit DD and slammed the door. When I opened the door I explained that he shouldnt get angry that way, he had a time out. DS told me afterwards that when they are in bed DSS tries to DS' pj trousers down. I do not want any of them to feel that there is something wrong with their bodies but at the same time I dont want DSS forcing DD or DS to look at his bits or forcing them to get naked. I am a bit lost

OK, so completely normal behaviour for a 7 year old, plus he clearly knows it is inappropriate and was embarrassed when you challenged him on it.

You may be concerned that he is doing it in private, but you would be equally worried if he got it out at the dinner table I suspect.

I would say that the way to deal with this is to talk to both your kids about how they own their own bodies, and no-one else can touch them, or ask them to touch anyone else unless they want to. I extended this to allowing my children to refuse to kiss hairy chinned great aunts, if they did not want to, although emphasising that they always had to be polite and say hello, goodbye, thank you etc.

I would tell DSS that it is OK to be interested, but not OK to upset DD. And then ask him if he has any questions, possibly backed up by a nice cheerful book like this one

'no one else can touch them' - yes, okay

'...or ask them to touch anyone else unless they want to...' erm, no. That's not right, is it?

Why not aegeansky?

Do you mean that they need to check with someone first that the other person wants to be touched (and that they shouldn't just touch someone without being sure the other person is OK with that)?