sexual behaviour

[Moosmummie]

This is quite a hard thing to post but am a bit desperate for info. I have an 11 year old DS and a 7 year old DS. They have both just received lots of sex ed (not really sex ed for 7 yr old - more about bodies and things) at school. Now I find they have been playing a 'sexing game' at home which seems to consist of the older son shouting 'hardcore' and leaping on younger DS and basically simulating sex. IS this in any way normal???? I don't have any brothers or sisters and although can remember playing doctors with friends - find it all bit (extremely!) odd seeing as they are brothers. Does anyone think I need to seek help from counselors etc? I would add older son has also been playing this game at school and got into no end of trouble. SO it worries me a LOT that he is still doing it at home.

I was very calm when I found out and ascertained from younger DS that there had not been any actual touching or taking off clothes or anything, he seems to be unconcerned - but he did tell me about it - which seems to suggest he was worried or knew it was wrong. I also managed to ascertain that older son had not MADE younger son do it and that YS thought it was quite funny. Older son admitted that it felt good however! gawd!

Husband extremely worried - but doesn't want me to talk to anyone 'official' as he thinks it might cause trouble. I would be very grateful for any constructive advice. They are not allowed to watch the internet etc without supervision although a lot of Older DS's friends have older brothers and they pass on a lot of info I would rather he didn't know!

Don't over think it and tell ds1 'stop leaping on your brother like that, you prat'

You need to teach your older son that such behaviour is totally inappropriate and unacceptable and will be punished. Perhaps consider teaching him about respect for others if you're feeling confident you can teach it?

I would say it's fairly normal behaviour actually, but behaviour that needs to be stopped anyhow. Boys this age are beginning to fill with hormones and are learning about sex and all that and their heads are filled with all sorts of confusions and misunderstandings about sex so it causes them to act weirdly about it.

Trust me, I was one once

A boy that is, not sex

thank you so much for replying wingdad - it's nice to get a man's view!

My pleasure, I've had this sort of dealing with my eldest son before too!

I agree, I think your panicking a bit and over thinking it. It is normal behaviour at this age, your oldest DS will have hormones going crazy and they need to learn what is acceptable and what isn't. Have a chat with him, be honest, not embarrassed (easy to say I know) and explain why it is not on for him to do this. Then explain if he does it again there will be consequences. Thats what I would do anyhow.

its all very natural behaviour but i think there is a fine line to find as you dont want them to feel their bodies are 'bad' or things to be ashamed about. maybe just a little word with them that certain parts of the body are for private. also that some children wont want to play those games. very tricky 1 i think

had a chat - have pointed out that these sort of feelings are fine but that normally people deal with them on their own! His ears were BRIGHT red by the end of it so hopefully the embarrassment alone will be enough to make him pack it in! Kids! Thanks to all!