23 month old dd just started screaming when upset...

[katherine2008]

I'm sure that this is normal, but just need someone to say that it is! My almost 2 year old has just started screaming hysterically when upset - she starts to shake and almost hyperventilate. It takes a while to calm her down, but I can after a few minutes (feels like hours). To be fair, it has happened only four times - once tonight when she was over-tired and was avoiding bed-time, once when my mother arrived at bedtime, once when she didn't want her hair brushed (bedtime) and once during a nightmare. Bedtime is clearly the link here - she is a wonderful talker and can usually make her worries/concerns understood but I can't get her to talk about what is worrying her. I did ask her if she was scared, and she agreed, but I can't tell if that is really it. We did remove a new-ish toy (which she had loved) together in case that was a part of it/or just to make her feel listened to and better. I'm sure this is normal in an overtired toddler - but any advice on dealing with this would be great. Thanks.

My DD2 (also 23m) is beginning to show signs of mini tantrums, although not to the point of hyperventilating. Like yours she can normally express herself fairly clearly (to us anyway!)but in the mini tantrums she just screams - it's also often (but not always) towards bedtime. She's suddenly decided she doesn't like going to bed (although is asleep within 10 mins). It's partly, I think, to do with tiredness, and partly to do with her knowing what she wants and not quite being able to tell us properly. Obviously that wouldn't account for the nightmare scenario, but could it account for the others?

I just cuddle her for a bit to calm her down, then ask her to stop crying so she can tell me what's wrong (usually done in the form of me asking various possibilities), seems to work for us...

Thank you - that sounds exactly it. She does stop crying eventually, but I find it really distressing. I think you are right about not being able to communicate - she is so used to being able to make herself understood that maybe she has got herself into such a state of tiredness that she can't. Thanks again.

NP. Let her cry (in a cuddle) for a little bit then ask her to stop crying. She'll understand. I'm a bit mean and if she doesn't stop I go to put her down and only cuddle her again when she's actually stopped (this only takes a matter of seconds before I sound too cruel). If she starts up again, I put her down etc. Only when she's stopped crying (sobs aside :() do we then try and understand what's wrong. Often by then she's got it out of her system.

Good luck

I have tried to put her down and she screams louder screaming mummy mummy. Although she seems just as upset when I do comfort her! I'll keep trying to get her to stop crying and then try to work what's wrong, but I've yet to get any kind of sensible answer, which makes me think she is just deliriously tired! Thank you thank you B&B!

:) Good luck