Just shouted at my baby for the first time :(

[minkymonkeymoo]

Hi

Apologies if this is in the wrong place. I wasn't really sure ...

My DS is 19 months old and a little monkey. Typical toddler behaviour but very full-on. I love him to bits but am a very weary mum because of it...

I have just 'properly' shouted at (for the first time) my ds for climbing on the window seat numerous times. I put him to bed and he fell asleep - I knew he was tired. My dh just says "no" and ds stops whatever he is doing but ds doesn't listen to me.

I think I need advice on how to deal with this before it ends up me always shouting at him. I really don't like that type of mother ... please don't say you all shout!

Help ... anyone?

I shout, some times... it doesnt make me hitler.

Relax... you need to set a standard of discipline that your son will understand - making sure its age appropriate.

If you tell him no, does it get any reaction?

Hi

Yes, he definately understands. Often he will stop doing as I have told him but sometimes he carries on (and on, and on!)

I remember this stage well with my dd and am just embarking on it with my ds. Apparently, when they're learning/refining a new skill eg climbing they are compelled to repeatedly practice it even if they don't 'want' to, iyswim. When toddlers are tired, their finer skills eg listening, reasoning get shot away and all they can manage is - often quite compulsive - gross motor skills. Wearing, as you say, but it will pass...

My ds (15 months) keeps practising sitting up from lying down in his sleep, though hasn't yet mastered the lying back down again bit, so he sits there helplessly crying until I go in to lay him down.

Minimising opportunity, creating opportunity safely (supervised climbing frame etc), distraction, eyes in the back of your head, afternoon naps are your friends.

I have a 4 yr old and a 20 month old, and I try not to shout, but sometimes it happens. I do try to apologise to them if I have shouted - it's ok for them to see that you do get angry sometimes. No-one can be serene all the time!

Thanks all.

I do take him to soft play and the playground and do let him climb but I just want him to learn that climbing on the dining chair as a route to standing on the table and standing on the window seat (we cannot secure the window - albeit a ground floor window, I would prefer for him not to fall out!)

I usually keep my temper but that really made me mad. He (and I!) was up at 5.30 this morning so I am a bit sleep deprived too. Off to bed now...

The thing that makes it worse is when I try to talk to him - to apologise or just chat - he refuses to look at me. And I know full well he knows what he is doing! Who said toddlers don't understand. Obviously hadn't met mine ... :)

in that case, I would tell him no, if he ignores you, remove him from what he is doing, and walk away ( whilst keeping an eye)