how do i force my 6yr old to do her homework?

[kelli22]

im really lost, my dd hates practising her words, sometimes she will do it but at other times she wont, im trying to get her to learn her words (have been trying on n off all holiday but she's not interested) so ive been doing other things with her instead ie reading, numbers, spellings etc but she has 3 pages of words to learn by monday (when she goes back to school) im currently 37wks pregnant, very tired with cronic heartburn n lets just say my patience is rapidly decreasing.

Anyway all day i've been trying to get her to do them, i've tried all the "lets do this to show daddy when he gets home" to "do you want me to be the only one in the class that doesnt know them because you won't try" eventually i smacked her and sent her to her room for disobeying me (ok i know not a good thing to do)

ive told her to stay in her room until she can come and try to do them (i know she can do most of them as shes done them before)

what can i do now?

thanks

could you try a sticker chart as an incentive?

Have you tried making it into a game, maybe she could be the teacher and try to teach you the words, maybe make some cakes with her and write the words on the cakes with icing. Try sticking the words up around the house so she cant get away from them.

Can I suggest that you just back off altogether? It's not your homework, it's hers. If she's really not interested, then I think you run the risk of turning her off altogether. I think 6 is way too early for homework. Will she be punished for not doing it?

I agree that maybe you should back off about learning the words. Let her see what the consequences of not learning them are - she probably won't be too happy if it means she gets a low mark for her spelling test and that might give her more of an incentive to learn the next lot.

Purpleturtle

I thought you were in OZ????

Confused.

Fly on 12 Sept. Meanwhile going rapidly demented staying with PILs.

Had to get money from housesale through in order to pay for tickets. Why I thought spending over 2 weeks in Glasgow would be fun, I have absolutely no idea. In fact, should probably start a MIL thread.

Although as far as I know, I will be able to post from Oz, so no need to be too confused. It's only 11pm there ATM

There are lots of good ideas here - I hope that you can find one which works Kelli. I especially like the suggestions which involve displaying the words and rewarding your daughter for her learning. Can you make a list of the words which she can colour in when she knows? Then she can feel some achievement. Remember that being very pregnant there are going to be lots of changes happening for you both shortly.

I don't know what other advice to give. I am a teacher but I feel awkward that your daughter has been given a list of words which she must learn during her holidays. You know your daughter best and have been working with some great strategies (reading, numbers and spelling). Try not to make it a chore for you or her.

I did just have another idea - are the two of you able to use the computer to type out the words? Then, maybe you can choose a special font and change it to the outline version (meaning she can colour the word in later, perhaps when she 'knows' it). If you have clip art she could select pictures which go with the words - she would have to type the word of the object in to the box where you say what you're looking for.

Think laterally and involve her as much as you can!!

My ds is 6 and he isn't fond of homework, we do his words under the Spotlight. We switch the big lamp on and turn it so there is a big spotlight on the floor and ds stands on it and says all his words. We also do a guessing game to match the words with something he can relate it to for example the word fish we would say it swims in the sea what am I? He seems to remember all his words much better this way!

read this as 'how do i force my 6 year old to do housework'

Was hoping for tips!!!!

LOL @ mumtosomeone!! Even at 9 I am struggling with that one.

thanks everyone i was seriously stressed, have managed to calm down now and she has actually done them all, after about 10 mins she came down and was willing to learn them - thank goodness, also i went up when she had been in there for 5 mins and had a little chat with her about how i wanted her to be able to go to school on monday and show them how clever she is.

she was put with a special needs helper last year, even though i know she's just lazy as aposed to learning difficulties. she has trouble concentrating (as i did as a child), i do think they put alot of pressure on them at such a young age, my dd is one of the youngest in the class and while she has just turned 6 the rest of her class will be closer to 7 i dont think they take this into account when they test them.

the teacher said she was a year behind with her reading and i dont know very many other kids but i think she does ok, she almost gets all her spellings right every wk and enjoys books and reads the words she knows.

i will try the advice given on here and see if i can turn it into a more positive thing, i do think teachers should bear in mind that im not actually a teacher im a mother and im very busy as im sure all mums are, i thought school was where we sent our children to learn my dd has such a lot of homework that im glad im on mat leave so i can actually spend some time doing it with her.

what i would like to do during the holidays is actually enjoy my time with my dd not have a battle with her trying to get her to do something she doesnt want to do. it makes me very sad.

lets hope tomorrow is a better day

I'm really pleased that your daughter has now done her words!! I totally agree that there is something wrong with homework in the holidays. I was appalled when my dd, who is 9, came home with about 10 double-sided pages of maths worksheets to do. Where is the time for fun, play and exploration? There is so much more learning in that than passing in a pile of completed sheets that I know her teacher will never look at. What a waste.

It is great that your daughter is regularly completing her spellings and having such success. If she is someone who is not motivated to learn then she needs even more encouragement and a fuss made when she does something well. Her teacher will be choosing words which she is able to learn but if her reading is a year behind the 'norm' she must still be challenged further. I wouldn't worry too much about this though because hopefully she will take off soon.

Lastly... Kelli, don't ever say you are not a teacher! You are the most important teacher your child has. Yes, your daughter goes to school to learn but her ambition and love of life long learning will come from what she experiences at home. You must endeavour to complement that. Teachers only spend 25 or so hours a week with your children. You have so much more to offer them.

I think homework for six year olds is absolutely terrible and if my ds doesn't want to do it, I have promised myself I won't force him. I never had homework until I was 11. Personally, I'd let her be.

i hadn't really thought about that to be honest i spose i am a teacher, although not trained at all! until i went on mat leave i was spending less time with my dd than her teacher, only seeing her for 2 hours a day in the week and 2 days at the weekend im so glad im not going back to work as i see how much she needs me now.

i wish i didnt have to make her do her homework but if i didnt the school would make out its my fault she's so behind and the only person to suffer in that is my dd and i want her to have a good life and be intelligent so if that means we have to work on it then thats the way it has to be i guess.

i do think children learn alot from just being with you and playing without being forced to fill in sheets etc

i spose the school do this for the parents that wouldn't ever make an effort to even notice their kids were there unless forced to do their kids homework with them, but these parents are few n far between im sure.

they should just let us get on with it, at least she's done them now i can put the battle to rest until tomorrow

Aloha... as a teacher, I think HOMEWORK is absolutely horrible. But like Kelli eludes to... it is necessitated by parents. I would rather kids had the option to spend some time with their family or did something really fun which they could tell me about at school. Imagine the learning that comes from baking a cake together or even turning off the tv for an evening. We don't do this enough. I have been working on a jigsaw puzzle for the last few days (which had been collecting dust since I was given it for christmas) and my daughter has been helping me out from time to time. Last night my husband was drawn to help out too which led to MissE joining in and together we completed it. It was sooo much fun. When we walked in today (the puzzle is still on the dining room table which is a problem in itself) hubby suggested we get another puzzle!!

anyway, how can she be a year behind at SIX? In many countries they don't begin to teach reading until 7 -and they all learn fast.

what are we doing to our kids?
no criticism of you ay all kelli, but i have a degree & interesting job/life without homework at six. sometimes i dread ds going to school.

as mr bowie said....
'and if the homework gets you down/ we'll put it on the fire and take the car downtown'

Kiwibelle, those are lovely words about being a teacher.

I also agree that most homework is pants (I'm a teacher!)- when do children get a chance to chill out and relax? There is a notion that homework is beneficial -it can be but I think we as a society are drifting towards an acceptance of working very long hours and relaxing less.

Also, most homework consists of paper and pencil activities, as these are easy to administrate and prove that both teacher and parent/child are doing them. I would prefer to give and receive 'activities' which involve doing e.g. I set a clock treasure hunt for my children when we were looking at time, and asked the parents/children to talk about where they found them and what types they were, how they worked etc.

Kelli22 if you find a way of "forcing" her to do her homework let me know lol. Mind you think i am halfway there with taking him into school tomorrow even though holidays are not over lololol the teachers are there.

Purpleturtle, I disagree. My son has been getting homework since he was in nursery and it hasn't done him any harm. This holiday is the first time he has ever refused to do his homework and his reason...it has been too hot to concentrate. lol

mumtosomeone, i not got a problem with housework lol DS is 7 and if he doesn't clear up after himself i put it all in the bin. He has to strip his bed every sunday (twice a week in summer) put all his washing in the kitchen before the pile generates too much. But the best bit is he loves to hoover and does it soooooooo well lol.

Kelli, I agree that teachers do not take into account the age difference. My nephew has just turned 5 in July and he is about to start yr1. My DS has just turned 7 in July and is going into yr3 where as most of his class are already 8 or very close to it. there is one difference between the 2 boys my DS is more than capable of doing the work set but is too darned lazy this holiday and my gorgeous Nephew is struggling but will do it as best as he can. Think majority of DS's probs are that he knows he can do it and can't be bothered kinda like mummy (me) if i knew i could do it i wouldn't as my attitude was why do i have to prove myself. I don't want him to be the same NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO lol