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Tantrums and wetting accidents

1 reply

kittymcfluff · 30/08/2010 19:13

Help help help. My youngest DD is nearly 6 and has incredibly volcanic tantrums over the least little thing. I have been told that its a ohase (its been going on for about 3 years now). She will lose it the minute the NO word is said or she is told that she has to do soemthing (bath or bed or brush hair etc).
Its quite extreme at times, she has taken to throwing whatever is at hand, clothes, shoes, hairbrush etc. An example is she was asked to wash her hair in the bath and she refused, it turned into a wrestling match in the bath with water everywhere. Then it escelated when trying to bruch her hair. DH threatened to do it(as he is not gentle) so she screams for me to do it, then refuses when dad stops trying to brush it. This episode ended with me and DH shouting at each other and oldest DD 10y crying. At school she is very well behaved.
She is also still wetting herself regularly. She will use the toilet as and when it suits her. If she is out playing she will only come in when she has already wet herself. Somedays she is dry all day, then the next she will wet twice.
DH and i are at our wits end. We love her dearly but she is so much hard work. We need some advice on the best way to tackle these issues.
We have tried the "your a big girl now" talk has not worked, she justs shrugs that off.
and have tried reward charts and praise, that worked for a while but now she is unconcerned. can anyone advise. Thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
angel31dust · 31/08/2010 00:29

ohase?
My dd used to react like this. The nursery suggested i was enabling her by reacting to it at all. It stopped shortly after because i stopped my pattern of behaviour. She would always scream when it was hair wash time so instead of battling i calmly stated bathtime was over. she would continue screaming so i emptied the bath and left the room. she soon realised who was the boss. The wetting episodes are the same thing really. Have you suggested to her that she will have to go back to wearing nappies. (Not that you would but if she thinks its embarressing then it might force her to re think her behaviour) Some children thrive on attention and can easily assume even negitive attention is what they want. I am not suggesting for a moment your dd is not getting the attention she needs its more about what she assumes she needs.
If your dd is well behaved at school and not at home you need to evaluate the diffence.
Are the school stricter with her? Does she have different bounderies set there. Is it because her friends are around her.Perhaps a teacher could give you an idea.
My dd will try the old tricks now and again so i just calmly say. I am not speaking to you until you talk to me properly and walk away. it takes a few minutes sometimes but she soon apologises and gives me a cuddle.
I hope this helps in some way. I really do feel for you i felt like i could do nothing right at the time

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