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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Whether to follow contented baby book?

23 replies

Corky · 29/08/2010 13:39

I have a 4 week old dd3. I didn't use the contented baby book with my first 2 children, but am having a hard time at night with my third and was confused about what to do. My dd3 was 8lb 11 at birth but seems to only take around 2 oz a feed. She still seems very sleepy during the day, so sometimes I have to wake her if its gone 4 hours since the last feed. Needless to say she's up several times in the night and at times won't settle for over 2 hours. The other night my husband and I were with her for 4 hours trying to settle her (she is formula fed btw). I live in the USA and my paediatrician says to let her find her own schedule, but when you read the contented baby book it says about waking them etc for feeds and not letting them sleep too long. I can relate to this, but when you have 2 other kids to run around after, how are you supposed to follow this strict routine? Anyone got any tips? Sometimes my dd3 just won't be kept awake!

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Alouiseg · 29/08/2010 13:42

You can't even mention it on mn!

Fwiw, I think it's an evil regime.

Alouiseg · 29/08/2010 13:44

Sorry that sounded way harsh. A routine is always going to be hard to put in place when you have older children to consider.

Sometimes we do have to accept that tiny babies don't sleep for very long at a time. Sorry you're finding it hard, lack of sleep is the worst.

Original poster

Corky · 29/08/2010 13:52

sorry didn't realise mentioning it would have that effect! I used to use MN when my first child was born 8 years ago. I agree the regime sounds really harsh, but some people absolutely swear by it! I do think my other two kids will prevent me from following it. The worst thing is that during the day my dd 3 is good as gold, sleeps like a log! Nighttime she's a right pain!

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CatIsSleepy · 29/08/2010 13:57

i think when she's a little older she'll be a lot less sleepy during the day and easier to feed
somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks dd2 really cut back on the length of her daytime sleeps (I was gutted )

CatIsSleepy · 29/08/2010 13:57

sorry, a full stop after 'easier to feed' would have helped there...

plum100 · 29/08/2010 14:00

Hi corky,

ive wondered baout putting my dd on it but I too hhave two other dc and itsjust not possible for us , as life would completely revolve around the babe and thats just not possible.

However, CLBB does work on the basis that you should try and getmost of thier milk in to them in the day - which does make sense. I would try to wake your baby more regulary lin the day to try to take more. But above all remember she is tiny , and tiny babies dont conform!!! And it will get easier .

UnePrune · 29/08/2010 14:05

Its supposed success is down to the fact that it works for some babies, and it works for just enough babies that the anecdotal evidence suggests it is down to the routine and not the baby. Whereas it's far more likely to be the fact that the baby would fit into that routine nicely anyway.

In the older editions of the book, there's some really dodgy stuff about leaving babies to cry for 5 hours at a time. It's been edited since to remove that sort of advice.

Personally I've known two people who've had quite, erm, chaotic(?) first babies, tried to go with the flow, then picked up the book and liked it, it helped the babies etc. (NB they were breastfeeding and had already got their milk supply going well enough to mess about with starting a feeding regime.)

You just take what you want from it. If you try to follow it totally rigidly, you might be disappointed.

Octaviapink · 29/08/2010 14:07

The mention of the book is anathema to most Mumsnetters - speaking for myself I would never take advice from someone who has neither medical qualifications nor the experience of being a mother. However, there are some people who swear by it.

It does sound as though your dd is going too long in the day between feeds - I know at 4 weeks old mine was feeding every 2-3, though that was breast. Have you tried waking her up more regularly for feeds during the day?

Original poster

Corky · 29/08/2010 14:12

I have tried waking her, but often she falls asleep after 1 oz and even after a nappy change she still falls asleep after a bit more. Sometimes we are out with the other kids and its not always convenient to wake her. I do think that I should wake her if its gone 4 hours. When she takes up to 1 hour to feed, should I count the 3 hours from when she started the last feed?

OP posts:

TeddyBare · 29/08/2010 14:30

I know it probably isn't what you want to hear, but trying to follow a strict regime is likely to add to your stress rather than reduce it. What is it you're struggling with or worried about most? If it's the milk, have you spoken to the paediatrician about the amount of milk your dd is getting? I'm sure someone else will be along soon with some more advice about that, or you could try posting a thread in "breast and bottle feeding". I?ve heard others on mn say that if your dd is developing well and healthy then she is getting enough even if you don?t think it looks like enough. I personally never woke up mine to feed them as it felt counterintuitive.
Can you get any help with your other dc from family or neighbours so that you can sleep when dd3 does? Have you thought about using a sling? I found it a god send with dd as it meant I could get on with other things as she was very settled in it. Lots of people find them useful to enable them to keep a baby happy while also being able to do things with older dc.

toddlerwrangler · 09/09/2010 12:55

Firstly, I'd like to say hello to everyone here, as I'm new :)

I have to admit, I follwed the routine suggested by the book from about 4 weeks, and it worked a treat. Alf slept through at 7 weeks.

He was NEVER left to cry it out, and nowhere in the new edition of the book is this reccomended. It is suggested that fed, burped, well, comfortable babies be given a little bit of time to settle temselves to sleep if they wake and cry - this is the exact same advice as the Baby Whisperer gives!!! He is 17 months and is still a fantastic sleeper and daytime napper (the only reason I have any time to use the internet during the day, thats for sure!). I often diddnt fall in with her schedule, but I just went with the flow, ensuring Alf get enough to eat and sleep during the day by follwoing her suggested sequence of events.

For me, it worked a treat. A structured eat, activity and play routine during the day is (to me) a no brainer to encouraging a good sleep at night :)

LetLoveRule · 09/09/2010 14:23

Totally agree toddlerwrangler! I used it with both of my DCs, totally different characters, and it worked a treat. Happy babies and parents.
I found it worked equally well with DC2. Give it a try.

dolster · 10/09/2010 23:03

I 'kind of' used GF. Definitely not the feeding regime as my DD seemed to want to feed much more regularly than every 4 hours. But the sleeping advice I found really useful and it really worked for us. She's been in a great routine since about 12 weeks and is now nearly 5 months and has a 3 hour nap at midday and sleeps 12 hours straight at night. She loves being put down in her cot and obviously feels safe and happy there. I think it's worth using very loosely as a guide. When it came to crying etc I always followed the Baby Whisperer technique which is much more gentle than 'crying it out' - you stay with your baby and comfort them until they eventually drop off.

StarlightMcKenzie · 10/09/2010 23:12

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StarlightMcKenzie · 10/09/2010 23:12

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Rhubarbgarden · 13/09/2010 18:50

Gina Ford works for me. I tried 'on demand' as going with the flow sounds so much easier in theory, but it just resulted in epic sleeps on a morning followed by an epic feed/scream/feed/scream/feed/scream cycle from late afternoon till midnight. With Gina Ford my baby gets the right amount of sleep and sufficient feeds during the day, and she was sleeping through from about five weeks.

It is very hard work and waking up a sleeping baby all the time does seem counter intuitive, and there are times when I've wondered why I'm doing it and slipped back into 'on demand', but every time it's just resulted in misery, so we go back to the routine.

priyag · 14/09/2010 20:35

UnePrune - "In the older editions of the book, there's some really dodgy stuff about leaving babies to cry for 5 hours at a time. It's been edited since to remove that sort of advice." Five hours, can you quote the page number where she recommended this, I have the first edition of her book, and no where can I see where she advises that a baby should be left to cry for five hours !

vbusymum1 · 14/09/2010 20:52

I have 4 DCs, the book wasn't written when I had my first but the other 3 all thrived on the routine. Why don't you try it, if it doesn't work move on try something else.

I'm not sure why people get so worked up about it, if you don't like it don't follow it. Priyag - I have a very early edition and I don't remember that either although I haven't read it for a while.

PacificDogwood · 14/09/2010 20:58

Personally I think you are either the kind of person who likes/thrives on a routine for their baby or you are not.

I am not.

I got as far as reading the foreword and knew I would not be organised enough to follow GF's routine and it would cause me additional stress as I would feel a 'failure'.
It turns out I am a lentil-weavery baby-wearing kind of mum, who knew ?

I also have v good friends who thought that GF was the Bee's Knees and had great results with her advice. I do suspect it has a lot to do with how 'malleable' your baby is to start of with.

anothabubbla · 14/09/2010 21:27

GF suited me. I was quite poorly after DD was born three years ago. Midwives and health visitors were chaotic, contradictory and bullying. They made me feel like a failure from Day 1. Once they forgot to keep coming to see me (that's and example of how bad they were), I was able to adapt the suggested routines to suit us - and I am not a routine sort of person. I focussed on feeding DD during the day and we got some quiet nights (five or six hours) pretty early on. GF's suggestions and recommendations helped me feel like a bit of a success. I'd take that any day over time serving midwives who treated me like a head of cattle.
By the way, Baby knows how much she wants to feed but if you have any concerns you MUST see a health professional.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/09/2010 07:37

I was given this when DD was born, looked at it and discarded it. Five months down the line with two very unhappy people I had another look, too the bits I was happy with and DD slept like a log. I wasn't BFing though, not sure if that makes a difference. We still have a routine for her and she is 9.4 now. If DD doesn't get enough sleep she is a mare, currently she goes to bed at 7.30 reads for half an hour then it's sleep. She is up at 7 and is a child who really really really (I can't stress that enough) needs her 11 hours. This is another reason we avoid playdates.

tokengirl · 20/09/2010 05:29

I read it and used the ideas a bit but adopted to what fitted our lives - ie - a routine that we could do. Feeding in the dark in the night, just before I crashed as well. With formula I did roughly 4 hourly feeds - centred from when I went to sleep. And long naps at times that sort of obeyed the principles of the child not getting too tired.

Worked perfectly for one child, and not at all for the other - he had to find his own routine.

Waking to feed at 10pm is still good though because you get more sleep yourself. Good luck!

Happytobemummy · 20/09/2010 15:32

Hi, I'm new to mumsnet...not sure what dd or dc stand for?

Anyway I have a baby who is now 3wks and being BF...I have the book and it make sense to feed more in day than the night...

However he has decided in last couple of days not to sleep for 3-4 hrs from feeding to 2-3hrs...not sure what to do as this is now also causing him to have stomach upset/colic which he didn't have before!
Meaning we are getting even less sleep than before at night!

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