How do you handle bad behaviour from children in playparks?

[WillYouDoTheDamnFanjo]

Just returned from a local playpark we don't use often with DD aged 7 and toddler DS.

DD tried to join in a group of 7-10 year old girls camped out on the big climbing frame. They told her to get lost. DD went and sat on roundabout in tears.

I wondered over with DS toddling along and said with a smile, "Can we join in with you on the climbing frame, please?" but was told by the girl in charge of the group that I shouldn't tell them what to do and that I was a skank.

So I just said brightly to DD "Come on, let's go and get an ice-cream" and as DD walked back towards me they started shouting that she was a crybaby and a skank.

Dreadful children that you don't want your dd playing with anyway. I think you tell dd that in those situations it is best to walk away from such unpleasant behaviour. You can/will go back to the park another time.

If the children had been younger, I would have looked for their parents and had a word. But at that age, I suppose it is possible they were at the park unsupervised.

...oops, hit send too quickly.

I said "Come on, there's 5 of you and only 1 of her," and the girl said she didn't care as DD was a "filthy skank." I just said calmly. "No she isn't, that's a horrible thing to say, you've really let yourself down there."

We all wandered off to shrieks and giggles up the very very long path out of the park.

Perhaps I should have stayed out of it, but I felt it was important for DD to hear me stand up to them & set an example.

What would others have done?

Earlybird, yes they were on their own.

All very depressing though. Surprised at how angry I am feeling after the event.

That would have really made me cross actually.

It's a difficult age though I suppose. I personally would have told them to stop being so rude and maybe threatened that you knew their parents. At that age that should still have some impact.

I would just feel terrible for your daughter. It's a horrible lesson to learn. I still remember my first day at nursery. I walked into this wendy house said hello to this girl called Cherry(funny how you remember)and she just slapped me in the face. Nice.

I wouldn't take her back again.

I would have been a seething mass of anger long after too. In my head I would have dragged them off the climbing frame by their hair and rugby kicked them out of the park....in reality I would have done exactly what you did. It's important for your dd to see that you shouldn't speak that way and that everyone has the right to stand up for themselves.

Some parts of the UK are really going to the dogs.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

Who wants to join their low-rent tribe, anyhow. Eewww.

That's the other depressing thing, though. It is the roughest playpark in the neighbourhood, but the easiest to get to by pushchair. I hate it when roughest areas live up to their names.

Years ago in our previous town when DD was in her pushchair, some lads in a similarly depressing playpark accidentally punted a football in her direction. All the lads rounded on the one who kicked it and told him to apologise, which he did very sincerely. I was absolutely thrilled to bits.

Thank you AvrilHeytch. They were quite silent after that... Well, for about 7 seconds, anyway!

Bloody hell. What horrible horrible children.

Personally I wouldn't have asked them after they had said no to your DD. Its a good job they didn't let her play with them. I would not want any child of mine playing with disgusting children like this.

Tell your DD that there are far nicer children around who would let her play and these children had no manners at all.

I think your reaction was really good - calm, measured, mature. You did the right thing and set a good example to your children.

I probably would've whispered 'skank? takes one to know one you little cow' out of earshot of my DD, but that would definitely have been the wrong thing to do.

ergggh - no idea how to handle that, but I had a similar incident with some horrible older boys who were kicking football near a toddler quite deliberately. Didn't say anything but did raise my eyebrow - cue him rounding on ME for my rude behaviour.

"Oi, what are YOU looking at..."

"A boy who's using the playground inappropriately."

Unfortunately, that made no impact and he became rude and aggressive and I had no choice but to leave the playground with my son in tears. I couldn't risk him (or me! there were several of them) getting hurt. Awful!

That's terrible. The only similar encounter I've had is with a group of teenagers playing football in the fenced off play area in our massive park (which has several football pitches, a basketball court and a large area of open space not marked out). There was no football going on so I couldn't understand why they were there and not in the rest of the park. There were several other adults there but no one said anything.

I was really cross as they were kicking the ball very near ds (3 at the time). I told them to get out of the play area. The girls just laughed but the boys took note and left after I asked them what school they went to and did they want me to tell their parents/headmaster about their behaviour! On the way out two of the boys actually apologised to me.

Gosh how horrible feel for your poor dd but it sounds as if she was better off not being with them anyway! I think your response sounds very good, do you didn't lose your temper or anything.

I wouldn't go back there tbh, it sounds rough as a bag of spanners, there's a really good playpark near us which we avoid for similar reasons, it's just too rough, horrible rough children and adults, also pitbull owners letting their dogs off the lead and run round shi**ing everywhere. it sounds stereotypical but it IS rough and it's just not somewhere I want my children to play. It's a shame because the equipments good, i'm sure loads of nice children live on the estate near the park but the rough few really spoil it for everyone.

I think you did the right thing, although after hearing the 'skank' taunt would have wanted to say

"I know you are, but what am I?" picked up from my DS10 and DD7. Highly immature, but on their level.

Dont take DD back there, find a nicer park.