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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Biting my child

7 replies

snat · 25/08/2010 15:31

Hi Im new to this site and hoping i get some much needed advice as im worried sick about my toddler.
He goes to nursery 2/3 days a week and the same child keeps biting him. Its not weekly but not far off. I have had a word with the nursery to see how they deal with this situation and they were very upfront and said they would try to sort it out. However it happened again yesterday leaving him with a nasty bruise on his arm. He doesnt fight back at all just get upset. I dont know whether to speak to the nursery again or to the her mum. It must have happened nearly 10 times now over the last few months
Thanks in advance...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Owlingate · 25/08/2010 15:37

Don't speak to the mum, it is up to the nursery to stop the biter whilst they're there. Complain to the nursery manager. The biter needs to be supervised more closely imo.

ANTagony · 25/08/2010 15:43

This does appear to be a lot of instances and beyond the bit of give and take we all have to accept as part of the learning process. Could you put your next request on a dated note? Maybe listing the number of instances with any dates, if you can remember them, and asking for the process of handling instances to be reviewed regarding your DC as it doesn't appear to be working in this instance.

I second don't speak to the mum. The nursery are the supervising adults when the instances occur and are the only ones with very young children who can make the immediate reaction needed for a child to take note.

Good luck.

bronze · 25/08/2010 15:45

Also depends on the ages of the child I think as to how I would deal with it

elvislives · 25/08/2010 15:48

How do you know it's the same child? Nurseries aren't supposed to tell the parents of the biter or the bitee who the other child is.

My DD was a biter and it went on for quite a while. The other mother probably feels worse than you and there is nothing she can do about it.

Nursery should have strategies in place to supervise the biting child more closely. It doesn't hurt for you to bring it up with them again if it is still going on, although my DD apparently lunged at another child without provocation when they were sitting quietly with staff at a table, so it isn't always possible to stop it.

Original poster

snat · 25/08/2010 19:14

No i totally understand it must be awful for the parents of the biter but i am also friendly with her mum so it is difficult. I dont really want it to involve us discussing directly to each other coz as you say it is happening under nursery staff supervision.
At the same time my little one is being bitten (he tells me who it is as hes nearly 3) and i hate it. I'm just hoping it will stop asap... x

OP posts:

MadameSin · 26/08/2010 19:56

Some children hit, some head but, some scream and some bite ... unfortunately. I was the mum of a biter - now a delightful 14 year old and it was awful. He didn't have to have a good reason. He may have been happy, sad, threatened or excited and he would sink his teeth into the nearest kid. It made me feel sick and I spent 18 months following him like a hawk. I dreaded playgrounds, parties and anything involving other children. He was a gorgeous, bright little boy and could articulate verbally .... but it didn't stop him biting. Obviously, like yourself, other parents spoke to his nursery, as did I. They were great and it took about 6 months for him to stop in that environment. He grew out of it just after 3 years old. Sorry, to witter on, but I guess what I'm saying is ... talk to the nursery, but it is a phase and will stop. The very least the nursery can do it monitor them not being together on their own (sounds like he may be making a b-line for your child). I can guarantee you that the biters mum is well aware of his little habit and is devastated. Good luck

undercovamutha · 26/08/2010 20:04

Ask the nursery to clearly outline their method for dealing with this.

I had the same issue with my DD. As she was 2.5yo she was able to tell me who was doing it. The nursery clearly explained to me how they were dealing with it. Obviously they were dealing with the other child's behaviour, but also trying to keep my DD and other child in separate activity groups for a while, keeping a special eye on them during busy group times (e.g. when they were washing hands before lunch, getting coats on to go outside etc.).

In the end there were about 4 instances, and there was a total stop to it once the nursery started making a consistent effort to deal with it. They kept me fully informed, without naming names, as your nursery should.

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