realistic rules for 3.3 yo's reward chart

[AirHairLair]

ds (3.3) is doing my head in atm! He seems to have turned into a brat in the last month. I want to do a reward chart for him and try and get some better behaviour going, but am wondering what will work as rules.

The things that really wind me up are:

• not listening / talking over me
• talking back
• shouting at me to "come here" over and over and over when I've said yes, I will be there in a minute
• not using cutlery (which he can do, he just can't be bothered)
• not helping eg with tidying toys
• eating his clothes - eg sucks and chews on the top of his t-shirts
• wanting to be carried or using pushchair rather than walking even short distances
• snatching
• being utterly terrible at sharing with other children
• not saying please & thank you unless prompted (used to be v good at this!)

I am not sure how to make these into realistic positive goals, please can anyone help with breaking them into easier chunks, or advise on whether I do a list of some of these rules or just do one behaviour at at time?

Totally understand I can't do the whole lot, and I am realistic about the extent to which I'm asking him to do stuff - I don't mean he should do the hoovering, or a 10 mile walk or be a model of perfect behaviour all the time!

bump

I would pick a couple of things that wind you up the most (maybe 3 things) and focus on these. It might also be a good idea to choose something you think is pretty achievable (like please and thank you) to try and keep it positive, so he's not just getting a constant stream of sad faces!

You need to phrase them in a positive way...instead of 'not listening' put on the chart 'listening to mummy' or instead of not using cutlery, try 'eating nicely with your knife and fork'. My ds is quite a bit younger than yours, but its really helped him having pictures of his reward stuck on the chart so I can show him as he cant read.

thanks, will start with the most achievable and work up to the more difficult stuff. he is lovely, just had one of those weeks days where he has wound me up to breaking point.