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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Brat management

17 replies

Ishouldhavechosenagoldfish · 23/08/2010 10:04

Ok, ladies, your advice please.

Yesterday morning, ds aged just 4 (on Saturday) was up with the lark as usual. Happy playing with new toys etc., thought we could snatch another 10 minutes in bed. When dh got up at about 7.45 he found that the little angel had lined up pint glasses on the drinks cabinet and emptied EVERY SINGLE BOTTLE from said cabinet into these glasses.

Good points: he hadn't broken any glasses, he hadn't (yet) drunk any, er... can't think of any more.

Question is, what is an appropriate punishment? He was sent to his room (mostly for his own safety ) but he has got to learn that this was BAD. Your ideas greatly appreciated.

In the meantime, single malt and cherry brandy cocktail, anyone?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

compo · 23/08/2010 10:10

Well it was yesterday morning so it's too late to punish him now

I'd have just told him it was dangerous

and remind myself to get up with him in future

LynetteScavo · 23/08/2010 10:14

You sent him to his room.

I'd guess from your reaction at the time he realised what he'd done was BAD.

Punishing him now would be ridiculous.

And I'm tempted to say what were you doing having alcohol where a 4yo could help himself. We keep ours in a kitchen cupboard along with medicines? Because of course alcohol is medicinal.

GooseyLoosey · 23/08/2010 10:18

Depends - did he know that he was not to touch things in the cabinet, had he been told this? If not, then tell him now and explain that the contents are dangerous for children and only ever to be drunk in small quantities even when he is older. I might even let him have a tiny sip of something unpleasant to let him understand that these are not normal drinks and so he doesn't see it as forbidden fruit.

If he knew, I would do whatever you would normally do if he had done something he knew not to. In my house as he would have taken something of mine, I would confiscate something of his. I do however second the sentiment that you may have left it too late now.

juuule · 23/08/2010 10:21

The alcohol shouldn't have been where he could get it.

You are lucky that he didn't decide to drink it all.

As Lynette says, he probably realised that he'd done something wrong when he saw your reaction and a day later is too late for a punishment although you might have a nice chat to him about not drinking alcohol if he finds any.

Just one of those things. Let it go now, put it down to experience and either get a lock for the drinks cabinet or put the alcohol out of his reach.

meandjoe · 23/08/2010 10:44

Totally agree with Juulie, alcohol in the reach of an unattended 4 yr old??? Seriously, u are very lucky that he isn't in hospital being treated for alcohol poinsoning.

I would start by moving any bottles out of reach to a high cupboard or on top of fridge etc.

Secondly, I really don't get why people think it's OK for a 4 yr old to get up on their own and expect them to NOT do things like this. He is 4, he still acts on impulse, he was probably bored and lonely so decided to entertain himself doing something that most 4 yr olds would do.

I think sending him to his room was plenty of punishment and to be honest I would consider it to be MY mistake, not him being naughty.

RoseMortmain · 23/08/2010 10:53

Agree with BratNav I'm afraid. It's not his fault, it's YOUR fault. At 4 he can not possibly be expected to retain all of the Do's and Don't's in his life (that's even if you've told him - I often assume that my dcs understand that if I haven't specifically said they can have something then they know not to touch it, but actually they assume the opposite) when there is no one there to supervise him and he's bored.

You can't punish him now, you need to make sure that if you're leaving him unsupervised then he can't get at things he shouldn;t.

RoseMortmain · 23/08/2010 10:54

Hmm, confused myself there, meant I agreed with juule and meandjoe.....

Gibbon · 23/08/2010 10:55

I would imagine you left him far longer than 10 mins for him to be able to do what he did.

Did you not hear anything?

The bottles should not have been where he could reach them in the first place. Am tbh.

Original poster

Ishouldhavechosenagoldfish · 23/08/2010 11:36

I would say (in a small whisper) that I was supposed to be having some time off, as am PG and sick etc - DH kindly offered to do the 6am stint - he said he only left him for 10 minutes

And - gosh - thanks for the perceptive remarks about putting drinks out of reach - I think I may have worked that one out for myself now [gentle sarcasm emoticon]. I'm afraid high cupboards (it was a high cupboard - he dragged a chair across) and fridges (chair/table/chair on table combo in use there) don't seem to pose more than an interesting challenge to this particular 4yo.

I guess that, yes, it is probably too late now to punish him further - but what would be appropriate if he did it again (I just caught him with an open bottle of vinegar ) Would he understand if I were to make him 'pay' for it, ie. token amount from the moneybox (obv. not invoice him for the drinks cabinet, that would be silly) or is he too young to connect pouring-lemonade-down-the-sink with not-getting-a-football?

OP posts:

Gibbon · 23/08/2010 11:42

Gosh, your gentle scarcasm is going to make everyone want to give you helpful advice.

Original poster

Ishouldhavechosenagoldfish · 23/08/2010 11:43

Sorry! Its the hormones.....

OP posts:

TheButterflyEffect · 23/08/2010 11:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Ishouldhavechosenagoldfish · 23/08/2010 12:03

As of about 7.50 yesterday morning, all of the bottles I could find are now in the garage. Hence the inappropriate early pregnancy influenced sarcasm. (sorry again) With the door locked, pending the purchase of a proper locking cabinet. But it does only take ONE bottle - or ONE pen - doesn't it? It feels like every single movable item in our house is now stuck to the ceiling, but the little angel still manages to find something else...

OP posts:

TheButterflyEffect · 23/08/2010 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 23/08/2010 12:11

You're lucky that DS is 4 and you are only jsut now having to hide everything.

When DS1 was 1 visitors would comment on how high everything was...light pulls were tied up, shoes were always hidden (he'd taken to sucking them when he learned to crawl) CD's has been spun across the floor, keys had been hidden in the (empty) wine rack, mobiles had gone through the washing machine....you get the picture. We learned to hide EVERYTHING that wasn't a toy.

Whelk · 23/08/2010 13:26

You really need to make sure he cannot get into any alcohol cabinets.

Any punishment for him pales into insignificance when you think what could have happened.

Roo83 · 23/08/2010 14:54

There is no way of making sure every single bottle/pen/knife etc. is out of the way, so we just prioritise the worst ones (alcohol, bleach etc). My ds has in the past poured orange juice all over the floor, or filled bowls with milk to 'feed the baby animals' he tells me! When he does things like this, I tell him he must ask mummy before he goes in the cupboards as there are things in there that can hurt him....if he has then gone back to do the same thing again AFTER being warned, he goes onto the naughty step. This has worked, and he hasnt done the same thing since....but he is quite a bit younger so there is still time!

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