DD10 with her snide, sneery, sniping, snarling tone

[UnquietDad]

DD, aged 10, has developed what can be described as a "nyah-nyah-nyah" tone in her voice, a way of speaking which makes it sound as if she is twisting herself up inside before speaking, and choosing to spit bile and invective at the world.

It's really unsettling, as she can be a sweet and loving and funny girl so much of the time.

Wondering how others have dealt with this... I'm sure we are not alone.

Usually I learned behavior I would guess but as we are on school holidays could it be the influence of something she is watching on the tv?

Sdd once fell into this, was quoted to spit out 'i'll get hit so hard I'll puke' ... Never been hit, was some hideous US programme called Jake and Josh (???) now banned alongside a whole host of others that glorify bad behaviour as 'cool' when even at teen level it's purile.

Have you managed to get her to explain her angst or even write it down?

My DD is the same except she is 9.3, this morning when I got her up for school she was so nasty I was rude back. I got the hurt look and a refusal to eat breakfast. All I can think is puberty. Yikes. I have found (and it is now banned in this house) that watching stuff like Tracy Beaker and reading Horrid Henry increased the level of poor behaviour and attitude.

I agree that some TV (and sadly some friends too) make this problem worse. Don't think it's uncommon though. My daughter is going through the same thing. I think the beginnings of puberty, anxiety about who they are and knowing that life is changing don't help either. I think sometimes they are trying out different modes of behaviour, voices, characteristics ... but without the maturity to understand how it makes them seem to someone else. Most of her attitude is directed at me - rude remarks and eye rolling.

I can see that my daughter is really on the cusp of change but can't always deal with it - still playing happily with Sylvanian Families and doing crafts, but also wanting to buy Girl Talk magazine (vile!) and put up posters of pop stars on her wall. I don't think she actually admires or even likes said pop stars - she just sees it as something she ought to do. One day she will be all concerned about her hair and clothes, the next day she'll wear filthy old things to work in the garden and be happy to visit a friend in that state!

Like Kreecher, this rudeness and poor attitude sends me off the deep end, but I am trying hard not to snap back, but to not tolerate this stuff either. I pretend not to hear her when she speaks in an unpleasant tone, and when she is rude to me, just walk away. Later I try to discuss how her behaviour made me feel, and more importantly, how it makes her appear to others. I limit TV to Discovery and National Geographic . Sadly we have also decided to limit visits to our home by some children. She can spend time with these girls at school but I am not happy to have them in my house. We do this very discretely - she doesn't know my feelings - we are just always 'too busy', 'I left a message for Mum', etc etc.

I feel we're a the beginning of a long haul through teenage years ...

argh, discreetly ...

Trying it out, yes, I am inclined to think. Pretty sure I know who the girls at school are who she's learnt it from as well...

If its any consolation my ds (11) talks like this so its not just girls . I am seriously considering moving out before he turns into a teenager

Can I come with you Elmo?

Of course you can Kreecher where should we go
lol

Do you think she's aware of doing it?

How do you react when it happens?

DD is a bit younger, but so far we've not had this as an enduring problem. If she puts on a bit of an attitude, she can be 'put right' by me saying something like 'please don't speak to me in that tone of voice' or 'please don't be rude'. I think it startles her into realising what she is doing, and that it is not OK.

Not sure if that would work in your situation though, as it sounds a bit more advanced....

DD (13) has whined all afternoon about having no friends(they're all away), nothing to do, so boring etc.
It's the whiney tone which gets me.......she sounds like a 4 year old.
2 more weeks....keep hanging on in there girls.

She may not be aware of it. We tell her we don't like it and ask her not to do it. I'll ignore any request made in The Tone. Further sanctions may be needed...