Help! 14 mo waking in night and clinging to me

[EvieBear]

My 14 month old dd is waking in the night and crying. It used to be that she had lost the dummy, i would go and pop it in and go back to bed. But now it has turned into her being wide awake and so when i go to put the dummy in, she holds her arms out and if i don't pick her up out of her cot she starts crying like crazy so i have to pick her up to soothe her. She then clings to me and won't go back into the cot!!

Has anyone had similar? I don't know how to handle it, ad don't want it to become a habit. I'm so tired!
Perhaps I should just ignore the initial crying, but it does get louder and worse if i don't go in. How do i ignore her when she is holding her arms up to me to get her out of the cot? Help!

I don't have any answers, but we are struggling with our 14 month old ds who is doing much the same. I am spending up to an hour once or twice a night resettling him in his cot, stroking his back and sitting with him until he falls asleep. He gets hysterical if I leave before he is sleeping. Last night my DH, in his sleep, brought him into bed with us, (not helpful as I am also stopping bf him at the same time!!). My intention is to try and help him develop a means of getting himself to sleep when he wakes, without disturbing the other children (my nine year old says that he is shattered because DS3 keeps waking him up at night!!). I think the problem is that DS3, has difficulty in self soothing, so we are trying to encourage a close relationship with a cuddly toy to see if that helps. Would be interested to see what you are trying too. We are exhausted!!

It's developmental. They lose the ability to self settle at this age. It usually coincides with starting to walk and talk. They find it very, very frustrating and need help to get back off to sleep.

It's true, studied by men in white coats and everything. Their brains are too busy.

You know how you feel when you've started a new job or got something v stressful going on and you're exhausted but you cannot switch off at all and if you lie down to sleep, it gets worse and worse until you feel like you're going mad. It's like that.

It won't last, just do what it takes.

By do what it takes I mean help them through it, comfort them, show them how to fall asleep. It's very difficult for them and you'll often find they get very upset during night wakings, wake not long after falling asleep and often stand up in their cot even though they're physically exhausted. It's their brain going 'walk, walk, walk, walk, walk'. But their bodies are crying out for sleep.

Hmm interesting... Yes, jana we had also brought dd into our bed a couple of times but she still remained wide awake and so that didn't help. Your poor other kids, it isn't easy! Good to know I am not alone though.

My new trick is to put her into her bugaboo pram, strap her in and put a blanket on - this really helps because she is in the one position, can't move and falls asleep after a few minutes of crying. Getting her into the pram is a nightmare as she screams, arches her back etc but once in cries a bit and then, due to exhaustion, crashes. Maybe you could try similar just to get through this phase?

liberty thanks - good to know there is something going on which is causing this, and that it will subside... fingers crossed.

Evie - feel your pain, have been going through this with DD (15 months) for about a month. She had been a very good sleeper before then. Not long after it started, she started walking so all ties in with what Liberty said.

TBH it started to be more of a habit with DD than anything - she wasn't really that upset in the end, just got used to us coming in to check on her and wanted some company.

It is starting to get better now so fingers crossed the same will happen for you soon.

Best of luck, I know how tiring it is but hopefully things will settle down soon.
xx