3 Year Old Boy, Says it all Really .....

[hedwig06]

I have 4 DC.

DD's 14 & 10
DS's 8 & 3

DS, 3.7, he is naughty all the time, he always has been, cried continually when small, drew on walls, broke things, hit, punched, smacked, tantrums, etc, etc, but it did get a bit better when I started him at a playgroup, he took ages to settle there, screaming when I left, crying when I picked him up, but eventually he settled and now loves it, has made some great little friends, but he has started again.....

Heres this morning as an example of the last 3/4 weeks:

He got up a 7, demanded sweets, was told no, had a complete meltdown, screaming, crying, throwing things, next was his DB's train set, DB spent 30 minutes setting it up, DS walked over and starting banging another toy on it, breaking it up, nothing I said made him stop, so I eventually physically tried to move him, again big tantrum, next was breakfast, took him 5 minutes at least to answer me what he wanted, he asked for ready break, I made it went to give it him, he knocked it out of my hand all over the carpet, he wasn't even having a tantrum at the time, he just knocked it out of my hand, then he wouldn't get washed, dressed.

I'm so sick of it, I can't be that bad a parent I have 3 other high achieving, polite, well behaved children.

I feel completely shattered, I have tried, naughty step, sending him to bed, distraction techniques, (which worked wonders with the other 3 DC), sticker charts, talking to him, I am at my wits end, I'm ashamed to say I smacked his arm yesterday, but after 15 hours of this I just lost it.

Just to add I am dealing with this 99% of the time on my own, my husband is always working.

Thanks for reading this epic moan if you get to the end of it and any ideas, or hugs will be greatly appreciated.

My boy sounds similar to yours, I am at the end of my tether often.

I have noticed his behaviour is worse when his dad is away, and I have also noticed that rather than naughty, he is more frustrated and unhappy, as you said. It seems that mine at the moment seems sort of primed for conflict and attuned to it? It's very wearing. I do try to change his focus and circumvent things, but then also sometimes I just think he should do what he is told without all this soft soaping!

I am in the middle of a low patch about it, so you have my sympathies. I am finding that new things help - I just started taking him to swimming lessons and the exercise and freedom to go wild in controlled circumstances (ie, the water slows him down) seems to help.

I do think more sleep would really help yours! It really doesn't sound like he is getting a lot. Also, personally, I feel that TV right before bed is too stimulating so we do stories or if he wants more and won't sleep, I leave a story tape playing.

I also got the book "How to talk so kids will listen" that has been mentioned and found it very useful - I have been very surprised on at least two occasions this week that I was able to stop a tantrum/hitting session in its tracks by employing some of the methods therein.

Good luck - and it does sound as if he is very bright, I am sure preschool would be good for him.