Can somebody tell me about hand flapping?

[justwantedtoaskaquickquestion]

I've just had quite a weird week away with a long-lost friend and her ds who I haven't seen for a few years as they've been living abroad.

Her ds is nearly 7, but comes across as a few years younger. The most noticeable thing about his behaviour is his more or less constant flapping, with his whole arms, not just hands. And even when he's not flapping, his arms are mostly drawn up towards his shoulders, tensed, ready to flap. It was most pronounced when he was excited about something, as was his habit of pigeontoed tiptoe walking.

A quick Google seems to suggest that these features are most associated with autism, but he didn't seem particularly autistic to me (not that I know anything about it). His language and communication seemed a bit immature, particularly pronunciation, but not outrightly abnormal, IYSWIM. He did manage to play with other children, although they were on occasion a bit wary of him as his behaviour was out of synch with theirs. He could hold a reasonable conversation with an adult, but did have a tendency to melt down as soon as things didn't go his way. He's in mainstream school.

The very strange thing was that the parents are both medics, but seem to be in total denial that there is any kind of a problem. Yet to me his behaviour seemed very strikingly not normal (particularly the flappy thing), and I had heard similar mumblings from mutual friends. I did once or twice ask my friend something like, "Is X okay, he seems to be getting a bit anxious" when all the other similar aged kids were playing and her ds was standing to one side compulsively flapping for 10 mins at a time, but she just brushed it aside.

Any ideas? Obviously it's not my place to start commenting on her ds's behaviour, but I couldn't help being struck by it, and wondered what might be going on.

I really don't have any experience in this area, but you described my nephew to a t at that age. He is 12 now and has Aspergers. I don't really have enough contact with him to describe his behaviour any further though.

I'm not trying to make an on-line diagnosis but would say that dyspraxia as well as autism might also fit that description. Equally it might be nothing.

Is it possible the parents do realise something is wrong and are in fact dealing with it, but would rather keep it under wraps for now.

I imagine his teachers would have approached the subject with them.

I thought that as well saker- or just some sort of sid. Unless he's struggling in school it doesn't really sound as if it necessarily needs to be taken any further.

Oh that's interesting saker - my nephew is dyspraxic too.

Message withdrawn

Oh thank you, guys, that is reassuring!

When I googled 'hand-flapping' I was expecting to read that it was a neurological immaturity that children would grow out of (one of mine did it as a baby, but had stopped by about age 2). So I was a bit freaked out by the strong association with autism.

Dyspraxia sounds possible, as he is very clumsy. Hopefully he will grow out of his little ways as he gets older. It just seemed an odd way for the parents to deal with it I think if my child had symptoms that might make other kids reject him, and make other adults think he was 'not quite the full ticket" (not my term just what I had heard from a mutual friend regarding this child) I might be at pains to be upfront about it, and explain what strategies we were using to deal with it.

But with luck it will all come out in the wash.

my dd's half brother is 3 and is on the mild end of the autism scale, he flaps, when things get too much for him, or when his routine is upset.