3.5 year old wriggler - should I be worried?

[janefairfax]

From babyhood onwards, my DD1 (now nearly 3.5) has been a real wriggler. She used to kick her legs all the time when I was breastfeeding, for example, and move a lot in her sleep. Now, she doesn't sit still on the sofa to watch TV for more than 5 mins, then she's on the floor, then back on the sofa, etc. She can sit at the table and play a game/paint/whatever for about 20 mins on a good day, and listen to a bedtime story for 15 mins, but that's the limit. She has always got bored quickly sitting in the pushchair and wants constant chatter, or to get out, then get back in, then get out again... They say at nursery that she's doing fine and sits still for storytime, but I am concerned that her wriggliness isn't normal. How long should a child be able to sit and concentrate for at this age? Any ideas gratefully received.

My ds1 (3.8) is the same. On the plus side I never have to worry about his weight, despite the size of his appetite, as he never stops !

Seriously though, we've had the same converation with nursery and what you're describing certainly seems to come within the boundaries of 'normal'. I find, though, that people's expectations boys' and girls' concentration differs. Ds seems to get more understanding because 'he's a boy' .

Completely normal for her age, don't worry. Children are very strongly driven by their motor urges at this age and will act like they have ADHD unless you as their guiding adult engages their attention and calms them with touch, talk and suitable activities.

That she sits for 20 mins doing an interesting activity shows she can concentrate normally for her age. Left to herself for too long and she will just flit from one thing to another. Habitually left alone to amuse herself and you run the risk of not training her developing brain how to concentrate.

Do you talk to her about what's on the TV when she watches it or sit with her with an arm round her or just stroking her foot or something? Touch can be really soothing and provide an outlet for the urge to move. She will need something to keep her occupied in the pushchair, conversation or a toy or a game like eye spy ("I spy something red...") although frankly a physically active 3.5 yo can (should?) be walking not in the pushchair.

This may be a personal preference thing because I was brought up with no access to a car so I walked everywhere really young. My 21 mo walks up town to the shops (10-15 min for an adult to walk). There's no way I'd let her get wheeled around at 3.5yrs.

Thanks for the replies.
MamaLaMoo - I quite agree with you that she should be walking more and not be in the pushchair, but she is very unwilling to walk anywhere. She swings on my hand or dawdles or stops or insists on being carried. I should enforce it more but it's very difficult when we're trying to get somewhere.
Often I sit with her when watching TV but it's also the one chance I get to prepare the supper or tidy up, because she's otherwise very demanding of attention (seldom happy to be left alone to amuse herself, alas!). Thanks for the good advice though.

"... Habitually left alone to amuse herself and you run the risk of not training her developing brain how to concentrate..." - I'm afraid I somewhat disagree.
Children need time alone (not left alone as in ignored or abandoned of course) to learn to use their imagination to amuse themselves.
There's nothing sadder than a child who depends on others for entertainment every waking moment.
Parents who schedule every second of their children's play do them a great disservice; with all the electronic gadgets and mind numbingly simple toys that all must do something blatantly obvious, too many children miss out on a chance to develop their own world of wonders, their own games, using their own unique powers of imagination.