How can I stop my 5 year old from making constant noise and getting worked up ?? It's becoming unbearable.

[mummyloveslucy]

Hi, my 5.6 year old daughter has a speech disorder. She is very confident though and loves to make noise, wether it's talking non stop, singing at the top of her voice or just making silly noises. It drives me mad! When she's around I can't hear myself think. We go on long walks together to get her out and about, but it's like she's in this world of her own, either acting out plays, singing very loudly and out of key or making silly noises and laughing at the top of her voice. She often asks me to sing to her but gets really angry and bossy if i don't sing it the way she wants. She also keeps asking the same things over and over again, like "after this are we going to aunty's house?" I'll say "yes" and she'll say "aunty's house now?" and I'll say "no, after the walk" and she'll get upset and start crying and wining etc, then a few mins later she'llask the same thing.

I know that none of this is particulally naughty, but it is very annoying. It makes it very hard for us to enjoy the time we spend with her.
I would love to just be able to take her out and have a fun, relaxed day. As it is at the moment, I can't wait to get her into bed each night then I can unwind.
Do any of you have any advice for me? We do have the odd day when she isn't like this and it's lovely, she's so funny and can be such a ray of sunshine. When she's relaxed, I love spending time with her.
Is there anything I can do to try to keep her noise down and stop her winding herself up so much so that we can enjoy our time together ?

Thanks.

Oh my goodness, we have the same daughter I think. Mine is 3.8 and she is definitely behind in speech, social skills etc. She hasn't been diagnosed with anything though.

Mine can be quite naughty, ie hits and bites quite a lot but it's the whinging and needing constant attention that gets to me the most.

I honestly haven't read another thread where I have related so much.

I know exactly what you mean about longing to take them out without constant questions etc. Mine also sings at the top of voice and gets very cross when I ask her to be quiet. She can also have the odd day or 2 when she's an absolute joy and I forget why i'm so stressed with her. Then it starts again and I feel like my heads going to explode.

Is your ds very jumpy and excitable. Does she ever just walk or is she constantly bouncing etc?

It's nice to hear i'm not alone anyway. Posted several threads very similar to yours but have never had much in the way of people relating.

Hi, well it's good to know i'm not alone. She can be quite bouncy when she's like this. Sometimes she'll just be walking along and she'll hold onto my arm and suddenly lift her legs up so she's dangeling from my arm. This is so annoying, especially if I'm not ready for it, she has pulled me over in the past but just finds it hillarious.

The questions she asks are only ever related to what's happening in her day. The questioning is the same thing over and over and becomes more frantic if she dosn't like the answer. She won't ask sensible things like "why is the sea blue" etc or anything where she's wanting to learn unfortunatly.

Hopefully someone will be along soon with advice for both of us.

bump.

What about doing a quick cartoon drawing related to the days plan of events? It may not stop the noise but would reassure her a bit.

Have you tried using a visual timetable with Lucy? Basically, each day you draw a series of pictures to show her what's going to happen. That way, when she asks you the same question again, you can look at the timetable with her. It can be really comforting for children to know exactly what's happening each day.

Hi, that sounds a good idea. They did recomment that for her at her last Ed Psych appointment but the recommended laminated photoes, I thought it would take 1000's as we do lots of different things with her. They recomended having them on a board in her room so she can see what's happening each day. I suppose I'd have to make a little one to take out as well. They said she should have one at school too.
It seems a good dea,but very hard to know how to go about it. My drawing isn't good enough for her to look at it and know that one picture is Aunty A and the other is Aunty B.

She also has no idea what later means. Whe I say "yes, we're doing that later" she gets upset and says "no, today!" and I'll say "yes later today". She'll then say "after shops" I'll reasure her that we will be going there after the shops, but she'll forget a few minutes later.
Things like tomorrow, this afternoon, next week etc don't mean anything to her either.

I have no experience of this, sorry. What about using photographs of people or things that are difficult to draw for this visual timetable though?

Yes, I could do. Also if I took a picture of a plate of food, she'd be expecting that same meal. She wouldn't see it as just representing food and she'd then get upset if the picture was a roast and she was given spagettie etc.
So in some ways photoes can be too specific, and if I took one at a birthday party and put it on her board, she'd expect to go to the same party that the photo was taken at and she'd want a repeat of that party.

Do you have a Speech and Language therapist? They should be able to give you a set of very simple line drawing pictures which cover most situations. I can't remember what they are called.

Your drawing really doesn't need to be good. Just simple line drawings on a series of post-it notes so that they can be moved around if necessary. Stick people with different hair are always good to show a variety of people!

The school should certainly be providing one too. In fact, in my class I tend to have a whole-class visual timetable, and then individual ones for those who need it too.

why not just cut pictures out of books magazines etc and let her help choose them Have you had her diagnosed with anything??

Hi mummyloveslucy. Would have posted this earlier but i've been away.

Again, mine does exactly the same. She also doesn't seem to understand later and tomorrow. Do you sometimes feel like you're her PA as well as her mummy?Ie, you're constantly reminding her what's going to be happening.

At the moment my ds is driving me mad because when she's been naughty(hitting etc) she goes to her room and doesn't come out til she's said sorry. It sometimes takes a while but when she does she says "i'm a good girl, can I have my treat now?"to which I have to explain that she doesn't deserve one because she's been naughty. She genuinely doesn't understand and get's very frustrated because she thinks that if she says sorry it means she's a good girl, rather than not hitting in the first place. That's the worrying part. I can see that she's confused, which I don't think she should be.

How is she at school? I have to admit, i'm dreading mine going.

I would recommend a visual time table

It does not have to be perfect or expensive and you don't have to laminate things. As she gets older you can incorporate words rather than picture . Or use PEcs symbols which have the advantage of being well known and transferable.

The constant questioning is annoying. But I try to remind myselfthat it is a sign of anxiety - a need to try and reassure themselevs that they can manage what is coming next.

Have a look at this website. The picture cards are symbols and will work for many situations. You don't have to get them laminated. I used a small travel photo frame and put in images of where we were going from the symbols and photos I had taken. Ifthey get dog eared you can just replace

Just do it in paper. Ds1 was driving me mad in the same way last week. I couldn't find the pics I needed, I didn't want to turn in the computer with the symbol software on so I just wrote time timetable out as a list.

Ds1 can't read much (well I don't think he can) but I just named each activity as I write it snd he was fine.