Help needed to deal with dd's (nearly10) nervousness (Long)_

[bargainhuntingbetty]

My dd is 10 in Feb and has just gone into primary 5(not sure what that is in England sorry). The last week before the schools broke up she was screaming and kicking and running away in the playground before the doors opened. She had been off sick and was dreading going back and having everyone ask her why she had been off.

We went back this morning and all summer she has been dreading her new teacher (only because it is something different, not because there is anything wrong with the teacher). So this morning, she got ready and was excited about going back then when they opened the school doors she ran screaming that she wasnt going in. I know it is the fight or flight reaction but I dont know how to deal with it. Am waiting on the school to call me with advice. I dont want to punish for unacceptable behaviour as I know these feelings are outwith her control. I have tried telling her these feelings are ok but they behaviour is not. HELP!!!!!!!!!

Should have added that the school just said to her that it would all be ok once she got in and it was ok to be nervous.

Could they allow her to go in a couple of minutes later with you if the big rush in is overwhelming?

Have you discussed with her exactly what worries her? Can you work on one fear at a time?

She was just scared of going back and things being different. We have tried to tell her that life is like that and once she is in there it will be ok, once she is in the door she is 100% herself. She has some issues with Maths which I am going to mention to the techer and see if we can get help with that. I called this morning to see how she was and she was doing gym and was perfectly happy. She says she gets a big ball in her throat and feels nervous. How can I help her deal with that without running away

Maybe teach her some relaxation exercises or provide something that will divert her attention away from her fears.

Get her to physically make a list of "things that are the same" and "things that are different" in school. She may surprise herself.

Thats a good idea about the list, really all that is different is the classroom and the teacher. That is a good idea, I like that one. Thank you for that.

I feel like that with work sometimes

I feel like that a lot too and I have tried sooooo hard to raise my dd's so they are not like me and DD1 is so like me its scary. Its pants/

Thank you x

Just bumping for todays crowd