Can a toddler be depressed? Or is she just bored of me?

[Gilliana1]

My 21 month old seems bored and depressed. Are these emotions (depression) possible in a toddler? She just sits moody faced in the buugy and often lies round the floor at home. I'm trying to over compensate by being ultra exciting, and trying to tickle her.. do funny faces... make things more fun.. but I'm getting very little smiles. She would rather watch cbeebies then play with me.

Am feeling a bit of a failure. How do we learn as Mums to 'play' and be EXCITING!! She is going out, play groups, baby gym, music class etc... but still looks bored with all of these. The only thing that makes her smile is when Dad comes through the front door. Sigh!

Any thoughts much appreciated.

How long as she been like this? Are you sure she's not unwell?

agree with belinda

she sounds off colour

I agree with belindarose - could she be unwell?

Doesn't seem unwell (has energy... will charge about in park) and is eating/sleeping fine. Plus looks ok. Just seems 'down'.

Hi. My daughter asked to go to nursery on Saturday! We play brilliantly together generally but I think toddlers can get bored! Do you have a local Sure Start children's centre? The staff there are trained to help mums play with their kids. I'm sure you are doing everything right, so it might help reassure you? Good luck and don't stop trying with her.

Are you sure she's just not tired? You say you go out, she charges around, you do groups?

When you get home, perhaps she just needs to chill?

Anything else going on? Changes, relationship with your DP, etc?

Coming back to this as have been thinking. I am even more inclined to think that overstimulation could be key. You seem to believe that she needs a lot of stimulation. That you have to be ultra exciting. You don't. Just really simple things like going to the familiar shop for milk are very stimulating for toddlers. See what happens if you cut down activities, stay local, and keep it very simple for a week or so. Just do a little homey routine together, go out to the nearest park, bake something, etc.

If her energy levels still feel low, I'd make an appointment with the GP to check iron, etc.

What does she do if you leave some activities around and just leave her to it?

Yes, agreed - what sort of toys does she have? Versatile toys for open-ended heuristic and imaginative play? Blocks, buckets, scarves, small interesting object, bags to transfer things into and carry around, crayons and paper, a mirror and some hats, etc...

Big thank you to slouchingtowardswaitrose.... this morning I didnt take her to her usual gym class and walk to lake. We just went for a walk locally and she picked up stones and leaves.. SEEMED much happier and was laughing/smiling.

I think I've been trying to do too much, and then when she seems 'bored' upping it even more! Poor thing probably didnt know if she was coming or going!!

Thanks again. We are going to slow down! :)

I totally understand. My DS1 was easily overstimulated. We went from here to there, Sure Start groups, coffees with the other mums, then to the park, etc, all day long. We both ended up exhausted! Turns out DS doesn't like groups as much as I do, so key for us was to find very local mums and keep it all really simple. If you are feeling bored, use her naptimes to get on the internet, ring a friend, do hobbies, etc.

I know how it is!

Nice to think of her pottering around picking up leaves etc, they are so cute to watch.

Hope things continue to go well!

that is great news!

Toddlers love regularity as well. Also try and work out what she likes my DD loved organised activities - gym/music but really hated toddler groups and going round to people's houses...It was a bit isolating but she was much happier. Although now she does want to go to people's houses and we don't know many people!