9 yr old son - horrible!!

[Lexi3]

Help, I am at my wits end... my 9 yr old son is being vile, causing arguments, being deliberately mean to his brother and sister, forgetting his manners, not listening to me, horrendous attitude, showing off, not sharing etc etc I have tried the gentle approach, and the not so gentle approach, shouting, reasoning & sending him to his room - but nothing seems to be working. What do I do next - I am finding it so draining - he's just ruining everybodys day.

No TV for half an hour for each upset - but you must stick to it . NO going back for favorite programme or because you are too busy to keep eye out .
If not into TV - make it no computer /playstation /ipod or whatever .
The key is to not waver - ever .

Does he need a good night's sleep? My oldest son is horrendous if he doesn't get enough sleep. I agree with crolovlib re sanctions, but I think - if it isn't simply a sleep or illness issue - you need to spend some time with him, chatting, and see if there is anything on his mind. My eldest once spent about an hour telling me all the things he hated about his younger brother. It was quite difficult to hear. He said he didn't love him, etc. After he'd told me all this, he seemed really relieved - and he was more affectionate with his brother than he'd been for ages. Sometimes children just need an outlet.

Must be awful for you, though. Hope you can have a break yourself.

Just no TV or screen, full stop, for a week. Like a detox - it works! You'll have a nice pleasant boy again by day 4/5.

I have one of these too (10 yrs old). No reward or punishment has any affect on him so it would be good to hear if you find something that works!

Lexi3 - has he been hanging about with other boys during the holiday?

Our DS1 age 10 can be like this if he is with other boys who are behaving badly.

It may sort itself out when he gets back to school. Also a bit of strict boundary setting removal of privelleges and reminding he is not an adult to bring him back to earth.

thedolly ... can't agree with you more. Screen time is poison. I have 2 boys and just a day away from the TV, PC etc makes such a difference. They actually talk to me and eachother !!