DD (2.1) refusing to hold handds

[Katyathegringa]

DD has hit the terrible 2's with a vengeance and is being a madam and a half, the majority of her behaviour is frustrating but not dangerous. The one thing that really concerns me is that she refuses to hold hands with either DH or I when walking down the street. She is still mainly in her buggy but I would really like for her to start walking a bit - thing is we live just off a busy road in North London so safety (i.e. holding our hands, talking notice of us when we say to slow down or stop) is paramount.

We've tried a harness/reins but she just gets down on the floor and screams blue murder when she realises her freedom is being curtailed.

Anybody got any suggestions? Am I expecting too much of a 2.1 year old? Or do I have an abnormally naughty DD?

sorry - "hands" that should have read!

I would say perhaps a little young maybe but
could you be very specific about holding hands etc so you may say on non essential trips:

1. You have got to hold mummy or daddys hand or you go back in your buggy/we will go home. This one is good if you are going somewhere fun which could be the carrot for holding your hand. If she wont the you just go home no park or feeding ducks etc?

I would say expecting her to stop at different stages at that age is a bit much TBH

My DD is the same age and doesn't like holding hands either BUT insists on walking everywhere. If I go for longer walks, I still take the bugy with me as she will get tired after a while but instead of holding hands I asked her to 'help mummy steer the buggy' by holding onto the side of it. It's not as safe as holding hands but better than nothing! And she now holds onto the buggy without having to ask her.

thanks you 2 - it is reassuring in a way that she may be a little young to be expected to follow my instructions to the letter. Will definitely try the steering the buggy idea - she actually likes to push her own buggy and ends up pushing it into walls/people etc. and has a hissy fit if i try to help her, so not sure if it will work but will give it a go as, as you said AdasMum, it is better than nothing!

My dd 23 months the same, but she got very close to being hit by a car in a car park a month ago and after a stern lecture of how dangerous it can be not to hold hands is much more amenable (although not always!). I'm not suggesting that you throw her in front of a car, but I think that some children do understand the danger of not doing what they are told. I just used simple words like 'ouchey'/'bump'/'hurt' and she seems to have remembered...

yep, tried the getting to her level pointing out the big fast things in the road and saying "biiiiig boo boo" - don't think she's quite grasping the concept though!

My DD is 2.4 and I have told her that she must either hold hands or go in the buggy. She is quite a madam about it, but it seems to work because ultimately she doesn't want to go in the buggy. Reins worked for my DS, but when I put them on DD, she screams and won't let anyone hold them. I have told both kids that roads are for cars and pavements are for people and also that if they don't hold my hand near a road, they could get squished.

be firm about reins, offer small reward? far better than the nightmare of running off into someone/ something. A child ran full pelt into my huge shopping trolly tho' thank god I was still, nasty bump on head hysterical child and mother saying she would'nt hold her hand. safety first i think.

My dd wanted to walk everywhere at that age but didn't want to hold my hand crossing the road. I just carried her over the road if she refused to hold my hand, which she hated. Enough repetition of that worked - she's now 3 and reaches for my hand whenever we get to a crossing or side street.

We did have those backpack reins when she was very small though, I think they're good -dd was so pleased with the backpack she barely noticed she was on a lead!