Am I doing it right?

[dollydaydream1]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this thread but...hey ho.

I am wondering if i am doing the right thing for my children, in terms of being overprotective.
As a child, I was extremely overprotected by my parents. At the age of 15, they still insisted that they accompanied me wherever I went; shopping, cafe, school, even just down the road. They would insist on holding my hand when crossing the road right up to when I moved out. Any form of communication with boys was totally forbidden, and the subject of relationships was taboo. My parents had decided that they would plan my life for me- I was told that it was for my own good.
Of course, although I totally bought into their controlling regime when I was younger, when I started to grow up I began to question some of the things I was forbidden to do: read books that my parents thought contained material that would "taint my mind", eat at restaurants like McDonalds, even buy sweets from the corner shop. This, of course, led to me throwing moderation away completely, and becoming alienated from my parents, but that is a different thread
Now, I am wondering whether I am treating my children right. My two worries are that I will either become as controlling a mother as my own, or let my children run totally wild. My children are :
Milly (6)
JAck (3)
Owing to my worries, I have drawn up a week-to-week plan for my children, just setting some ground rules:

2 hours computer a day, if well-behaved

As much fruit as they can scoff (Milly loves pineapple )

Milly can go down to the park on her own, but if Jack comes I supervise them

Bed at 8:30 for Milly, 7:00 for Jack

"Sweetie Day" is the only time I allow them sweets in amounts (My sugar-fuelled university days have left me with the complexion from Hell)

Playdates only with people I trust, sleepovers with people I know well

Milly is not allowed to go further than the end of the road

Homework MUST be done on night that it is set

1 hour of TV a day

These are my rules... any suggestions or improvements would be very much appreciated

throwing away moderation completely in my university years*

I know nothing about this but one thing I picked up is how scheduled you are being - the same as your parents. Maybe allowing a degree of flexibility would make rules less draconian and your relationship more fluid? If that is what you are attempting?

your groundrules sound fine - in contrast to Shrimp, I didn't see them as a schedule, or as particulary draconian, they are only little still...

You are allowing them some freedom, ie.e going to park etc. and giving them choices about TV/computer.

You just have to remember to adjust things as they get older and more defiant! (coz they will...!)

also, you must give them room to make their own mistakes as they get older - i.e. if they don't do their homework, there will be consequences at school etc.

you are doing fine

You'll have to relax the playdate thing soon for Milly - unless by "trust", you mean "people you've chatted to in the playground at school and who seem OK"

And 3 hours of screen time a day seems an awful lot to me.

And as they got older, the homework thing may not be practical - what if it's a biggish bit and it's Brownie night? Or you have friends home for tea?

Remember that they are constantly changing and growing, so any rules need to be under constant review.

But apart from that, seems fine!

Honestly, the fact that you are mindful of this means you will almost certainly get it right.

I, too, had totally over-protective parents (my mother is still a nightmare, who has to be managed!!) And, like you, I also went totally mental once I went to University.

My opinion is that, at the age your children are, your rules are fine... just remember that each child needs varying amounts of 'control' and each situation has to be assessed.

My kids are young (2 and 1) but I also have two DSDs who are teens... The 15YO is allowed freedom based on her behaviour. She has lied occasionally and we have dealt with this. The basis is: If you respect us and our opinions, we will respect you and your opinions and we can agree what will and won't be allowed. But, if you act like a child, you will be treated as one. Simple as.

My feeling, though, is that it's far better for her to push a few boundaries now, when there is a degree of parental control, than wait until she is away at uni and she is supposed to know how to handle herself.

I got away with a few relatively minor scrapes... but some extremely embarrassing ones: I HONESTLY thought I would marry the first boyfriend I slept with. Seriously. It still makes me cringe, and I am sure that most people who knew me at that time thought I was pretty immature.

I've been a little misunderstood - I didn't see the rules as draconian - just the ideas of a set rule routine when the idea was to get away from such a regime.

I don't think I quite understand you - sorry.

Thanks for the tips :) The Screen Time rule was based on my previous experiences with Milly: she is an incredibly creative child, and cartoons and video games only seem to fuel her imagination. She is not that bothered about screen time anyway.. :)
And as for the homework, it will be reviewed once their workload actually appears- teachers do not seem particularly interested in teaching :|
And I let Milly push the rules a little in terms of bargaining-over the price of a magazine, perhaps- and with what she is and is not allowed to do- for instance, making sculptures out of peanutbutter on the table..

Tank you again for the improvements :)

What's the charge for the bridge?

What on earth was the point of this?