Hello all,
Thank you for reading my post. I'm writing about my 3 yr old boy who is very stubborn and single minded.
On the one hand it could be a good personality trait - I envision him going confidently through life getting things his way.
On the other hand he does not follow what other children do, I don't feel safe letting him play with young children because they can get hurt (not seriously) if he slaps or kicks which although he has just started speaking very well, has just developed as I always thought he was very non-confrontational. He has begun rugby tackling children to the ground and even just an innocent hug to a friend is usually way too rough.
He knows the consequence of his actions, i.e. if he hits he will get 'time out' or be removed from the play area which I carry out consistenly and fairly unemotionally. He has long periods of tantrum like crying now that he is three. When he wakes up, about the milk, cereal or toast or colour of his T-shirt.
I am mostly concerned because he will probably be going to nursery soon and he does not do what he is told, particularly in big groups he will not sit down and listen but jumps about. i.e. the group leader could ask everyone to sit down on their bottom and raise their arm, and he will be the only one not doing this. Occasionally people will say, it wouldn't hurt for him to hear no once in a while, but he does, unfortunately hear that word all the time. He has gone from sensible and clever (in my opinion) to random acts of rediculously dangerous behaviour i.e. jumping into the road to see what I'll do!
What is your opinion on the best way to handle the behaviour? I don't want to force him to be someone he is not, and in fact he is so strong willed I don't think I'd have a chance! At the moment i just deal with each incident as it happens, try to model polite behaviour and also try to make sure he is mentally prepared for what is about to happen.
I'm totally aware that toddlers will take time to learn how to behave, but it seems like my little boy is always the only one not joining in with the other kids! 
In addition, I was previously very glad to see he has a vivid imagination, but now I seem to find that he approaches other children whilst playing at being a cat, horse, or dog. This just means that he seems like he is making wierd noises and he doesn't make friends sucessfully although he is clearly trying.