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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How do I explain to a 2.5yr old the importance of staying safe/danger from traffic?

28 replies

Caz10 · 15/08/2010 22:47

DD 2.5 is a total bolter, will be walking along quite calmly then shoot off etc.

We walk loads, don't use the car much at all, so she gets lots of practice at crossing roads etc, and I have tried really hard to teach her about stopping, looking etc.

I know she is only little and obviously this is an on-going process, but little friends the same age at least stop when their parents shout STOP! It only seems to serve to make her go faster, even when I am using the "this is extremely serious"/panicked fishwifey tones of voice.

Have talked about cars being, big and dangerous etc, and she will cheerily tell you that a car could squish you, but thinks this is hilarious

Any hints as to how to get her to take this a bit more seriously?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thisisyesterday · 15/08/2010 22:49

you can't make her take it more seriously. she is too young (in my opinion)

i would either insist on buggy/holding hands/wrist strap if you;'re anywhere near roads etc.
do continue saying "stop and wait" or whatever so that she learns to stop and wait every time you say it.

but right now your priority needs to be ensuring that she is safe, and if that means restraining her then so be it

you have my sympathies as my 2.5 yr old is exactly the same!!!

chibi · 15/08/2010 22:51

i don't think you can really reason with them at this age, it is more a training thing.

do you still have a buggy?

if it is practical, bring the buggy with you on walks. every time dd does not walk as you wish, put her in it for the duration of the walk - with luck she should get it

i did this with my dd from age 2, by 2.5 she was walking sensibly. we were lucky too in that where we live there are quieter routes into the town center with low traffic levels where we could practise walking, and then gradually make forays onto busier roads

by 2.5 i was able to abandon the buggy completely. as your dd is older, it will probably be v quick for you

IMoveTheStars · 15/08/2010 22:55

over and over and over and over and over and over:

"If you don't hold my hand, you'll go in the pushchair"

Repeat the forcing into buggy straps as often as needed.

Also, any random jumping away/running into the road is cause for instant imprisonment in buggy without a word

Original poster

Caz10 · 15/08/2010 22:56

I know, you are absolutely right! I just see some of her friends at least seeming scared/wary of cars - she would happily run at one it seems...

OP posts:

Original poster

Caz10 · 15/08/2010 22:57

lol at instant imprisonment!!

We do still use her buggy, was looking forward to ditching it,but can see it is a useful threat tool!

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thisisyesterday · 15/08/2010 22:59

i dread the day we don't have a buggy. i'll have to carry the shopping myself!

MrsFogi · 15/08/2010 23:03

Nothing to be done at this age - dd2's (2.9) favorite game is playing "car crash" (pretending to be driving on the sofa and have a car crash) which just makes my blood run cold every time I overhear her.

ladybrothelburgher · 15/08/2010 23:04

I agree re. the impossibility of reasoning with 2.5 y-os. I had one terrible bolter, and I had him on reins (which I was never, ever going to use on principle) and holding on to DD's buggy. If he tried to bolt, it was another case of instant incarceration (we had a P&Ts, which made that possible). I had visions of him going to university on reins. Fortunately I had just about trained him not to bolt by the time he started school at five, but had to be very, very strict about him walking beside me even then.

Original poster

Caz10 · 15/08/2010 23:08

Five!!

Is it once a bolter, always a bolter then?

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hmc · 15/08/2010 23:11

I wouldn't trust a 2.5 year old - I would enforce handholding at all times

ladybrothelburgher · 15/08/2010 23:18

Oh, so sorry, Caz10!!

I fear a bolter is a bolter - but some may be worse than others. Yours may have grown out of it by the time she's three.

What's funny is that I expected DD to be the same, so bought a second set of reins. Lo and behold, she has always walked nicely by my side, holding my hand, with never a bolty thought.

Allegrogirl · 16/08/2010 09:25

My Dd is nearly 2.10 and just the same. DH has even shown her the old Tufty films on You Tube. I take the 3 wheeler which I can push one handed and attempt to hold her hand/get her to hold pushchair/reins. She doesn't need the pushchair and it's purely there as a threat. Hard work wrestling her into it at 39 weeks pregnant though. I feel really embarrassed when I see friends children walking nicely and to heel. Hope she grows out of it by the time DC2 is walking.

Adair · 16/08/2010 09:32

Play 'stop', 'wait' and 'go' at home, so she understands what to do. Lots of praise when she gets it right... But 2.5 is far too young to understand WHY she needs to stay on the pavement.

'Stop' in a fun voice that she knows will be more effective IMO than a screamy one. And also I find 'dd, look HERE! do you want some chocolate/ice cream??' will absolutely get her attention better than stop if she is about to go into the road...

scrappydappydoo · 16/08/2010 09:41

Major sympathies - dd2 is the same and even worse she just laughes and runs away further when I scream stop fish wife style. I use one of those little life backpacks and the buggy near roads - not chancing it until she can at least obey me away from the roads.

specialmagiclady · 16/08/2010 10:10

My sympathies too - mine are both terrible walkers in different ways. (1 bolter, one dawdler, I am constantly screaming "STOP! HURRY UP!") I have had to say that if they don't "walk nicely" ie near me both from the front or behind then I will hold their hand, rather tight.

Once they're good at that, you can give them places to run ahead to. eg. lampposts, telegraph poles etc. lots of praise for waiting.

And ALWAYS ALWAYS hold hands going over the road.

I'm afraid that if either of my children has run into the road - or in a carpark - they have had a quick but painful smack on the bottom. This is followed by an explanation that a car would hurt them much worse if it hit them. It's the only time I think it's okay to smack and even then I hate doing it, but the alternative is much worse.

Original poster

Caz10 · 16/08/2010 20:56

Thank you all! Terrifying isn't it?! Games at home a great idea, we will do that, it did occur to me last time I was bellowing STOP that I may never have actually explained what stop means, therefore in theory I could be bellowing any random word at her...

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choufleur · 16/08/2010 20:58

DS is really quite scared that he'll get squashed. I've probably laboured the point too much but it does mean that he is really good near traffic/car parks etc.

ladybrothelburgher · 16/08/2010 21:30

Still insist on holding hands across roads even now they're 6 and 8!

Original poster

Caz10 · 16/08/2010 22:35

Right choufleur, tell me how you scared him will you?!? DD thinks it sounds funny, aargh.

OP posts:

stottiecake · 16/08/2010 22:59

we are early days yet (ds is 21 mo) so at the very start of learning about road safety.

Whenever he hurts himself - falls over/ walks into something or whatever I say that hurts doesn't it? You bumped your nose (or whatever) Then when we are out and about I tell him that cars hurt ('remember when you bumped your head?) and when we approach a road I say 'Look at the fast cars what do we do near a road - we must hold mummy's...' and he usually says 'hand.' If no hand holding occurs it's straight in buggy, no fussing and I will say 'you didn't hold mummy's hand you must go in the buggy'
So far it's working - I am always surprised when he does what I ask (!)
However, we'll see how it goes...

stottiecake · 16/08/2010 23:00

oh yes reins - always reins!!!

LovingMyNewLife · 16/08/2010 23:09

DD is 2.8 and she is intermittently getting the gist of waiting and not crossing roads. I have taught her to line her feet up with the edge of the kerb and then look for cars before we cross.

The looking and understanding of cars isn't really there yet but 9/10 times she will remember to 'line up' her feet and this distraction seems to work and stop her from just launching into the road - giving me precious seconds if she does bolt

Also agree with saying 'STOP' in a silly voice - she loves making me stop midwalk and I ALWAYS do so so that she gets the idea what to do if someone says stop - takes an age to get to the shop sometimes

cat64 · 16/08/2010 23:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

choufleur · 17/08/2010 08:56

I was probably really mean but said that he would have to go to hospital and would have to sleep there.

Original poster

Caz10 · 17/08/2010 18:20

Hee hee!

I have been comparing car squishing to her sorest ever fall (our only trip - so far - to A&E) - still not getting it, sigh...

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