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Original poster

Terrible mum :(

13 replies

Gravitygirl · 15/08/2010 12:14

Its not often I ask for reassurance these days about parenting my children, I am a SAHM to a 4.5 dd and 2.9 ds.

They are both full on , extremly active in your face children, I dont have a problem with their exahubarance an infact embrace it, but Im starting to think that other people think it is a huge problem.

Just the other day a friend mentioned to me how much calmer my dd seemed, and I was rather taken back at the implication she thought she was totally wild before, of course her dd is very quiet and such an extreme I guess my daughter would seem like the tasmanian devil to her....
Then I went over to my dads house and my brother and gf were there, no one wanted the kids around and it wasnt like they were doing anything ovther than wanting family attention, is that not normal behaviour for kids this age?

I left, really upset as I am beginning to feel like Ive done something wrong, I mean as we speak the kids are running about, playfighting, laughing, low level shouting, bouncing off the walls and I thought this was normal and ok, now Im wondering im wondering wether the kids have got some sort of behavioral disorder :(

Its making me feel so sad and I feel like Im losing the plot, am I doing it all wrong?

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 15/08/2010 12:16

Children do calm down as they get older, doesn't mean there was any problem with them Smile
It's perfectly normal for them to run/playfight/laugh etc, it's abnormal if they don't.

ragged · 15/08/2010 12:25

I knew a woman who had 4 children under 4.
The kids were very well behaved in public, very nicely dressed and clean, never interrupted an adult conversation, always quiet, patiently standing with their mother and never ran off.
They spooked me out, they were like ghosts.

In private the same children were little demons and fought like ferrets in a bag, lol.

Original poster
Gravitygirl · 15/08/2010 12:39

Crikey, 4 children under 4!! Im struggling with just 2 .....

My two are well behaved ( generally) and polite and kind, they are just like a pair of bouncing beans, and I love that ( even though its exhausting) I wouldnt change a thing, but Ive started worrying that other people think differently.

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 15/08/2010 12:41

People are odd! They are either of the 'children are aliens that should be seen and not heard' mob or the other sort. I wouldn't worry about what other people think, your children sound very normal and very happy, you must be doing a great job, be proud! Smile

seenyertoeslately · 15/08/2010 13:42

Nothing's wrong with your children or how you are bringing them up, so please don't worry. Some people just don't relate to young children that well and aren't interested in playing with them - I know it must be disappointing for you that your brother and your dad don't really focus on your little boy and girl but it really doesn't mean that they don't care about them - only that they don't know how to play with them or entertain them.

I'm fairly sure that I was like this before mine were born!

FiveGoMadInDorset · 15/08/2010 13:44

Gravity, same age children here and same behaviour, DD is calming down now she is slightly older. I too wonder if it is something I have done wrong ut have accepted that this is who they are.

DetectivePotato · 15/08/2010 19:48

Its down to the personality of the child.

Some are naturally quiet and more introverted and some are the opposite. I wouldn't say either is wrong. It can be draining to have very active children but thats who they are and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Unless you are letting them run amok and do what they like etc, then you haven't done anything wrong.

My aunt commented yesterday on how nice it was to see a young child (DS, 2.6) running around. He was running from the garage to kitchen and back again at my nans house. Keeps him active so I'm not bothered. He can sit quietly for ages though, watching a film if I'm tired. My friends envy this as none of their DCs will sit for a whole film.

My friend has twins who are very active and she worries that they are too much. They are just normal toddlers and I have told her that.

Roo83 · 15/08/2010 20:45

I think if you're happy with how they are and behave, and you're the one dealing with them on a day to day basis then it doesnt matter what others think. Its only if their behaviour is a problem for you that I'd think about doing something about it!

I'm a SAHM too, and I personally feel they will have years and years of being constrained, once they are in education. I just want my kids to enjoy their time with me, and enjoy being carefree children whilst they are young enough to do so.

girtlush · 15/08/2010 21:06

I know how you feel. My DC's are the same age and also very full on.

I think that some people just don't know how to relate to children that are very loud and active, they almost seem intimidated.

On the other hand, I also get lots of people telling me that it's nice to see children running around and being boisterous.

My DD (4.5) is getting more sensible as she gets older, as yours is. She will now get absorbed in her own made up games or sit down and watch a film, which she wouldn't have done when she was younger.

My mum tells me it's a sign of intelligence!!

Your DC's sound V normal.

MollieO · 15/08/2010 21:17

I have one ds. He is 6 and starting to calm down. Up until recently friends would stare open-mouthed when he had one of his tantrums. I am sure none of them would have wanted to swap their same aged child for him.

I wouldn't swap him for the world. He is lively, sparky and never short of something to say. That translates into a very confident child who takes an interest in others and the world around him. He isn't one of those children who won't speak to adults.

SigningMum1 · 16/08/2010 09:59

My two, ds almost 4 and dd almost 2½, are very lively and I love it!! My two are also polite and fairly well behaved in public. Except for when we go round sainsburys, when the put shopping baskets over their heads or on their tummy's and pretend they're robots Grin

I think kids should enjoy being kids, until they drive you up the wall Grin and then it's time to sit down with a nice book!!

We are a nation of children should be seen and not heard, which if you go to spain, for example, is not the case. Embrase their enthusiasm and enjoy it.

tryingtoleave · 16/08/2010 11:16

Sounds like my two - I don't mind them rampaging round the house and being silly - it's much better than when they are whining.

Original poster
Gravitygirl · 16/08/2010 12:30

Thankyou so much every one, you have really made me smile with how lovely your little ones sound and made me feel slightly more reassured that my two beautiful children are doing ok.

I echo the setiment that they will have to conform for so much of their lives that live and let live whilt they can :)
Ill hae to learn to ignore the looks ..

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