So what do you do with a 5 year old who grins and laughs in your face when he is being told off?

[TitsalinaBumSquash]

I am about to loose the plot! DS1 is 5 and everytime he is told off he grins in my face.

Example he was standing in front of the tv, i asked him to move back he said no so i turned it off, he promptly walked across the room and smacked his brother round the head.
I told him it was unacceptable and to go to his room to which he looked me straight in the eye and a big grin spread across his face and he started laughing.

It is sooooo frustrating, what can i do about it! Help!

You need to find something that bothers him. Have you tried taking toys away, privileges etc rather than sending him to his room. That doesn't sound like it bothers him too much.

Nothing bothers him, were waiting for a CAMS referal becuase of his various behavioural issues.

The example you give sounds like major escalation over a really pretty minor behavioural issue (standing in front of the TV).

It's normal for five year olds to not have a high awareness of others' needs, so you have to treat their mistakes as mistakes, not crimes. With my 5 yo DD, personally I wouldn't have turned off the TV - that seems kind of inflammatory to me. I'd have got down to her level, put an arm around her shoulder and moved her gently to one side while explaining kindly that she needed to move so that others could also see the TV.

Do you think it's worth thinking a bit about your side of the equation - e.g. how often you are telling him off and the style you're adopting to do so?

Yes, raising the ante with a 5 year old can only result in a win for the 5 yo. He may also be nervous and trying to save face when told off about the tv -- for a 5 yo that means reasserting his right to throw his weight around without necessarily being able to distinguish between the seriousness of the two things he has done wrong.

Hitting the sibling happens because the sibling happens to be there and he knows it has drawn a reaction before, so it's like him saying 'You're not the boss of me -- when you defeated me over the tv I moved the battle to the brother and then laughed at you, which I also know is annoying'. The problem with this approach is that you're constantly playing catchup and he's setting the pace. They like to see how far they can wind you up sometimes so starting off slowly and low keyed in your response can work to your advantage.

I would have done the same as Theboobmeister wrt the tv incident.