Very teary/clingy all of a sudden

[Sal1105]

Hi All - Any advice on this would be great. I have 2 DS, 1 3 and a quarter the other nearly 2. Both of them, but especially the 3 year old, have started really getting upset prior to and dropping off at nursery having both been absolutely fine. My 3yr old has been at the same, very good nursery for about a year now. For the past 3-4 weeks or so he's been really upset about going and when I leave. He's in a tranition period at nursery where they're changing rooms, which could be the problem. He used to love it and had no problems dropping him off. He's clingy and teary outside of nursery too. Friends have suggested growth spurt/hormones? Dunno. My 2yr old has also become very very teary. He may be feeding off 3yr old and just copying but I can hear them both howling as I leave. It's so upsetting - I'm in tears, too. I try to reassure, but I don't want to drag the process out as it makes it worse I think. Has anyone had any similar experiences? Is this normal?

I think it's normal but I know what you mean about it being upsetting. My son went through a phase of tears at the start of the day when he was about 3.5. Talking to his nursery teacher she said that he was fine about 2 minutes after I'd gone. So I had to assume he was just trying to make me feel guilty :) What we did in the end was everyone (nursery and me) being uber-cheerful and brisk about the handover. No lingering about doing too many hugs and kisses etc. It did get better quite quickly after that.

Has the nursery said anything to you? Maybe they miss one another 'cos not together in same room any more? I know how horrible it is leaving them crying.

Thank you Chil1234 - I'll try the briskness although husband dragged it out for ages this morning..... I was upstairs coping with the little one. ppeatfruit - nursery are as baffled as me. They do get to see eathother in the garden and play well so I don't think it's that. I phoned about half an hour after I'd left and DS1 was still teary (he's always been a bit sensitive) although DS2 had cheered up. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. You have to fight every motherly instinct - so hard....

Sal - have you had a chat with the nursery?

Hopefully, it's just a spot of separation anxiety but it might be worth checking other causes too, eg new key workers, 'bullying' by other children (in inverted commas because I know little ones don't really have the intent to bully but you know what I mean), changes in food, changes in toilet procedures etc etc. 3-4 weeks is quite a long period to be upset without reason.

Can you or your DH also have a gentle chat to your 3yo at the weekend, away from the stresses of the week, to see if there is anything in particular worrying him?

Like I say, hopefully it is nothing but I don't think you should just disregard it out of hand.

Isawthreeships - thank you, yes, I'll have a word. I think 3-4 weeks is a long time too, and to go from being fine and suddenly upset is strange. Like I said, he's having small settle sessions in the new area, which I've been told have been ok but a little teary. I'll have a chat with them when I pick them up today.