Does your child tell bare faced lies?

[LauraNorder]

DS is 5 and he's good, very good! But it's worrying me, it's going to get him into trouble one day. It takes ages for me to get the truth out of him, I am trying to get across to him the importance of telling the truth but I'm not sure it's working.

How do you handle it?

I'm an ogre for kids lying. I always keep it very simple so they can understand what I'm getting at. For example, I don't go into a long winded explanation. All I would say is "stop telling lies, that's naughty".

If it's something minor I'll give a scowl and telling off. If it's a pretty big lie, then I'll put lying child in their room for a wee while.

This works wonders with my DC, but every child is different.

Whatever you choose, good luck.

Children usually lie because they think it will get them out of being punished. If you're pretty sure he's responsible for something and ask him about it point out that there are two possible responses.... 1) if he owns up, you will be annoyed and he will be punished 2) if he tells a lie then you will be even more annoyed and he will be punished more severely. That way, telling the truth is the more attractive option.

The other trick is to point out that you know when he is lying because his face gives him away. My DS has pushed me for years to reveal what his 'tell' is... and, of course, this is something I keep very close to my chest. :) If they think that you spookily know when they're lying then they find it more difficult.

Its a huge developmental breakthrough to be able to lie. They know that you are a separate person and don't know everything they know.

My Mum always acted as though she believed me and then came down hard when/if she got evidence I had lied. I have tried to act similarly to my own children. A lot of lies are obvious, and so are easy to punish. Also the more they lie to you the more you can tell they are lying.

I also think the more you catch them out lying the more they expect you to catch them out, so the more obvious the body language becomes.

The hardest lies to tell are the ones where the person telling you them believes they are true (however twisted they have to get their mind to do so).