I have an extremely clingy toddler - help!

[Mandymoo]

I have posted about this before but it really is getting to me.

DD is almost 3 and is sooooooo clingy! For example, i took her to the local park this morning as we were meeting friends and she just stuck to me like glue (apart from 2 very quick runs to the slide and back). She wanted to ask her little friend to go on the swings with her but she wouldnt ask ("you ask mummy") and then when i say "No, if you want ........ to go on the swings with you then you should ask yourself", she gets all whingy and grumpy.

We go to toddler groups and she just sticks by my side. If she wants to go somewhere she grabs me by the hand and leads me to where she wants to go. I try and unleash my hand and get her to go on her own but she just goes into a mood and asks to go home. I really dont think there is any point in continuing to go to these groups as when another child (even one she knows well) gets anywhere near her she starts to whine and pulls me away. IT DOES MY HEAD IN!!!!!!
I might as well stay at home if she only wants me to play with. I try and do whats best for her but it really all seems pointless as she doesnt seem to get anything from meeting with friends or from going to groups. And all I get is stressed and headaches. I know this sounds awful but i'm getting to the point where i think she is just a "clingy" child and no matter how i try to make her less so - at the end of the day i cant change who she is can i? (and i wouldnt want to)

BUT - is there anything i can do to ease this situation? I know i should keep going to the groups etc but i feel less and less inclined to do so. Do any of you have experience of this? How did you deal with it?

Any help, advice or suggestions would be most appreciated.

TIA X

check this out

Thanks SS - appreciate it.

The thing is that i went back to work part time when she was 4 months and she goes to nursery one day a week now so its not as if she's always been with just me. Dont get me wrong, i love spending time with her etc but it is just sooooo draining when we're out and she is stuck to me like glue (and not even happily so and she constantly whinges that she wants to go home!!)

Hi Tia
I can sypathise with you, my 1 yr old is also very clingy aswell, she will not leave me alone when we are at home especially, when we are out she is fine. As soon as I put her down she cries if i talk to my 3yr old she tries to push her away and sobs, she will play for about 2 mins then the crying commences.

How about a sticker chart - or a promised treat for after the group?

I can sympathise about how stressful this is especially if your child seems to be the only on like this - my elder daughter went through the exact same thing just after her little sister was born - a lot of her behaviour was attention seeking. It took her about 9 months to completely stop this - sorry no real answers I think she just got fed up with it. Best of luck

is she starting nursary / play group soon (i assume she entiteld to her 5 free sessions a week) i expect that will help her

NannyL - she's been going to nursery for 18 months. Maybe I need to increase her visits? Just really dont know what to do

sorry no advise as going through a clingy toddler thing myself at mo,........

but cant help pmsl-ing at CANHAMS saying "HI TIA"

CANHAMS...TIA is thanks in advance x

I quite like that name!!!!! Hadnt noticed that - DOH!!!!!

Not much advice - I think some toddlers go through v clinging phases.

My ds has always been like this - he's nearly 4 and would definitely still cling to me in an unfamiliar situation. I had to go to playgroups for over a few months before he would leave my side and play and even then, when he was around 2 and a half, if a baby of say 12 months tried to snatch a toy off him he'd burst into tears and run back to my lap!! But despite all of that, he adores going to nursery school.

I think you have to keep going to the groups and try not to pressure her too much. I know it's hard - I can still remember the frustration of having a child sat on my lap whilst everyone elses were off playing. It does get better with age. Another thing I found useful was to have playdates at your own house (so on her territory) with just one other child so that she can get used to having to socialise.

MM... i am only laughing because i thought the same (that it was someones name and that i liked it lol) when i 1st joined MN x

foxinsocks - thanks very much for your reply.

I have started to do the playdate thing and actually met a friend today with her little girl and we went for a walk. DD was fine actually, although a little clingy at times. Guess I will keep on with what i'm doing and see it through!! X

Lilsmum - get me with all my mumsnet abbreviations!!!

ive just checked the messages thamks lilsmum for the banter it's nice to know, theres someone with a sense of humour like mine

I have had a better day with my clingy daughter today, I decided to grab the bull by the horns and totally tire her out by letting her walk loads by helping mummy deliver leaflets, it soooooooooo worked she has been a lot happier this afternoon!!!!! So mandymoo lots of walkin!