starting to get paranoid about comments on DD's size - need reassurance

[curlyLJ]

DD will be 5 months old on Sunday. She has never been a big baby. She weighed 7lb7oz at birth and then on the centile charts she is just below the 25th centile line (although this did drop as she was above the line to begin with)

Thing is, whenever we are out and people ask how old she is they are suprised when I answer and say something along the lines of 'oh, isn't she tiny '

She's only just starting to wear some of her 3-6 month clothes, although some are still too big for her(depending on the brand) and some of my friends babies were much bigger at this age.

I know she is growing, but you don't really notice it yourself on a day to day basis do you? It's getting me all paranoid. I know I'm probably obsessing over nothing, but can some of you who have also had small babies please reassure me that she is growing OK??

Dont worry about it - some babies are large,some are small- that's why those percentiles are in the back of the red books, to show what a huge range in lengths and weights there are. If she's happy, eating well and active (or at least as active as little babies are at 5 months) then relax - she's just a petite little lady - and enjoy the fact that you'll get some great wear out of all those lovely outfits you have for her.

HI, sorry you're being made to worry by other's thoughtless comments. If she's following a curve (the 25th, the 9th or the 50th, doesn't matter) no one would worry. If she's dropping through the centiles ( as my DS did) then HV or GP will keep an eye to make sure she's generally well - but my sone dropped from 50th at Birth to 9th by the time he was 5 months and there's never been anything wrong. Some people are just smaller than others - same is true with adults.

People often comment about DS who is now 4 and DH was the same as a child - through primary he was always called Mini. People don't mean to be hurtful or worry you, in fact they often think its affectionate - certainly my DS is much more fun to lift up than any of his friends.

good luck and enjoy her

To people who don't currently have a newborn, all babies are tiny. Nobody really remembers exactly what size their baby was at any particular age.

People are just trying to show an interest and be friendly. I wouldn't worry too much.

People also say different things about boys and girls - I'm always told that ds is "such a big boy" and he's on about the same centile line as your dd!

Ds is 3.8 now and still wears some of his 18-24 months clothes. He was in 3-6 months stuff about the same time as your dd. He's perfectly healthy, and as I say people don't comment on him being small (which he is!).

I understand your worry. People are always saying that my 4 month old DD is "dinky" or "tiny" - she's just below the 50 percentile !
I guess its just to make conversation - and it's more polite than saying "oh what interesting orange cradle cap your baby has" for instance!
These comments often bare no relation to reality - my son, who's just over 2 and a half is "a big boy" or "really small" depending on who you talk to.

My dd is on the 0.4th percentile and often wears 6 to 9 month clothes at 16 months old. We have even had the health visitor come round and watch her eat lunch! However my daughter is doing well with her development and is putting on weight, abait slowly. We have managed to persaude our GP and health visitor off from making a paediatric referal.

I don't think that your dd is that tiny. Chilren aren't turkeys being fattened for christmas.

thanks everyone. You know how it is - I didn' think there was anything wrong, but people ave a knack of making you worry unneccesarily!

DD is fine in all other aspects - she's incredibly alert, has started to roll etc, has very strong legs (think she'll walk before she crawls as she hates 'tummy time' and loves being held upright so she can put her weight on her legs) and chatters away constantly - so i guess i need to just enjoy her and stop worrying

Small babies are fab when they get a little bit older. Everyone will think you have a genius baby, walking at 6mo, talking in sentences at 14mo (you'll know she is older than that, but still)

I know how you feel, my LO is 6 months and only 12lb 4oz, she is below the 2nd percentile. She is growing well. I think my paranoia stems from the initial difficulties I had feeding her and the less than positive feedback I had from some HCPs. I am still getting comments and suspect I will for quite some time!

I was told that as long as they're growing in height then it's not a problem. My dd is on the 24th percentile and nearly 2 and still wears a lot of her 6-12mnth clothes.

But she eats really well, and I don't worry about it anymore. A lot of it is genetics, I was also very skinny as a child and could never gain weight. Then puberty kicked in. .

Janice is right.

People who have older babies and toddlers very quickly forget how small younger babies are.

My DD is only 14 months but I regularly underestimate the age of smaller babies I meet. Last weekend I said "oh, isn't he lovely, is he, what, about 6 months now?" Turned out he was 11 months - I do hope the parents weren't offended!

It's because they seem so small compared to your own toddler!

Ridiculous really as it is only a year since DD was that size herself!

25th percentile is not that tiny. She is bigger than a quarter of all babies her age!

The other thing is you can't judge it by clothes size as these seem to vary a great deal.

My DD was on the 75th for weight and the 97th for height (she's very tall). But at 12 months she was still wearing some 3-6 month old cotton polo neck jumpers from John Lewis - she was just skinny shouldered and they carried on fitting.

However at 12 months she had already long been in John Lewis 12 to 18 months sleepsuits because of her long legs and big feet!

I know the clothes sizes vary a lot, but she really did only start wearing 3-6 months (in any brand) at 4 months+

I know I just need to stop worrying!!

Her length/height has never been measured Bumpsadaisie so I am not sure if she is tall for her age or not! I don't think so though - her little legs are deliciously chunky, so she definitely isn't skinny, although her body is quite slim. I will measure her myself and plot it onto the chart! I know it sounds silly but how do you measure length? Lying down from top of head to (presumably) her heels, as opposed to the tips of her toes??

Yep, that's right. Lie her down so the soles of her feet are flush with the skirting board. Put a book where her head is, then measure from skirting board to book!

I seem to spend my whole day talking about the size of dd2. She's 20m and still wearing 3-6m clothes and is nowhere near a centile, it doesn't worry me as she's doing great at everything else.

Your dd sounds like she's doing just fine.

I have the same issue with my daughter - she was born on the 50th centile at 7lb 3oz, dropped down in her first three weeks to somewhere between 2nd and 9th, but she then fattened up and has stayed somewhere between 25th and 50th since, but people STILL tell me she looks tiny and always seem surprised when I say how old she is.

Maybe we should just respond by commenting how old and grey the person looks who is making the comment - it is usually old biddies who make the comments I find....

sigh...I can sympathise...I have had both sides of this!!!!

my ds1 was tiny at birth (he had undiagnosed IUGR) and people thought he was a neworn when he was 5 months old!

ds2 was a good weight - 8lbs 4oz and has not stopped growing since! He has always been on the 75th centile and continues to be.

you cant win. Centile charts are useful if the child has a growth issue/metabolic problem so it can be monitored but most of the time they seem to worry new mums pointlessly.

The things you should be asking yourself are;
are me or dp/dh big? Does she take after us?

Is she happy, alert, feeds well?

If so, then she is the size she is supposed to be! enjoy your baby x

My nephew was on the 25th centile until age 3. He was always strong and healthy, but (like his mother)very thin. Fastforward 15 years, and he's well over 6 foot with a wonderful athletic physique.

I think where your DD is now is no problem as long as she is healthy. It's also absolutely no guide to where she'll end up, in terms of either size or health.

The comments are wearing, aren't they? We get them because DS isn't walking at 17 months. Apparently that's a disaster on a par with the 7 plagues of Egypt.

My DS was at the bottom of the 2nd centile for the first six months of his life but was a happy little chappy and healthier than a lot of his bigger friends. Everyone thought he was younger than he was.

Then we started weaning and he discovered ... FOOD!

By the time he was one he was in the 75 centile and has stayed there. He's 18 months now and everyone thinks he's at least 2.5.

You can't win :)

I wouldn't worry about what size clothes your baby is wearing and what people say. My DD was born on the 9th centile at full term (6lb 5oz), dropped to 2nd centile at 3 weeks and until 2 weeks ago, had followed that line perfectly and now at 16 weeks, has jumped up to the 9th. She is only just growing out of some of her 0-3mth clothes and will probably not be in some makes of 3-6mths for ages.

Clothes sizes are pretty immaterial anyway, firstly because a) they are never uniform even within one brand, let alone across shops (when was the last time you could go shopping and pick an outfit based on size without trying it on?!!) and b) if you actually look at the weight basis for some of the sizes for the ages and compare to the growth charts, baby would have to be on at least the 75th centile or above to fit the clothes at the correct age. Some are better than others, but is clothes sizing really the way to tell if your baby is big, small or in the middle?!! Just put her in clothes that fit and cut the label out if you're worried!!!

p.s. 1 in 50 babies will be on the 2nd centile and 1 in 50 babies will be at the other end of the spectrum, ignore thoughtless comments and trust that if her weight is increasing that's all that matters!