I have 3 children. DD1 is 9, b/g DTs are newly 6.
DT2 (boy) has been challenging for the best part of a year now. He settled really badly into school and I didn't take to his teachers methods at all and so expected that much of the behaviour was related to his frustration at school. Over the Summer holidays, I truly expected he would relax and his true self would come back out.
On his own, he's a peach. Loving, kind, generous, helpful, calm, cheery. The second we are as a family, or a friend comes to play, or another adult so much as enters the house etc etc his behaviour is off the rails.
He shouts, tantrums, screams, says horrible stuff ("you hate me", "you are the worst mother ever", "I never get...." etc) throws stuff, an generally has a violent temper.
I've been strong and firm.
I've done sticker charts.
I've had more one on one time with him.
I've tried to be sure he gets enough time with male friends since he has 2 sisters.
I've tried to appeal to his compassionate side.
I've ignored the bad and praised the good.
I've sent him up to his room any time the behaviour starts (so much that he just shouts "oh FINE, I'll go up to my room then")
I can't work out WTF I am doing wrong. Can't see what to do next. I feel like its me, I must be doing something hideously wrong. Its ruined the school holidays as it has seeped into every bit of every day. He's an embarrassment to go out with, my heart is in my throat and I am a nervous wreck.
Tonight, I could cry for a month.
WHAT could be his problem?
WHAT can I try next?